Almost Lois (Chapter Twenty-Six)

"You have to know why I wanted to meet," Kevin Grady said, sipping at his water.

"I do," Clark said, looking around them. The small Italian restaurant was crowded, but no one seemed to be paying attention to the two men in glasses and suits at the corner table.

"You're working with her."

"But I want to reassure you, here. I'm not trying to force her to remember. I'm even trying to help with the whole thing, keep her away from those areas where she shouldn't go."

Grady sighed. "It's an imperfect process. I know that. Dan still remembers things I didn't get. I know these things could never be complete." He shook his head. "But when she started mentioning the new guy at work..."

"She mentioned me? In therapy?" He wasn't sure how he felt about that. Lois still treated him with the same sort of disinterested pleasantness she'd adopted.

"Well, I can't tell you what she said. Though, I have to admit, none of it causes me concern. It was only in passing."

He nodded. He would just be a passing thought to her. It both relieved and upset him. "Well, It's been a month now since I've been there. If she hasn't remembered anything, we're out of the woods. Right?"

Grady leaned forward and lowered his voice. "What about Superman?"

Clark wasn't surprised he knew. It was actually fairly obvious to anyone who knew what Clark could do. He was just grateful Grady wouldn't expose him. Then again, if he were the kind of person that would, many people's secrets would be in danger. "She... seems to like Superman. I think that's why I've stayed away... I mean, when I'm not myself."

"I will tell you one thing. Staying away all together might not be the way. She's upset about that. There was a promise of an interview and she's feeling inadequate because you haven't delivered."

"I knew she was upset. I mean, everyone at work knows, but... I haven't gone to any other reporters. And I've been so busy..."

"And scared." Kevin closed his eyes. "You're afraid she feels for Superman all of the things she felt for you. You want it... and you don't."

Clark felt momentarily invaded. He knew what Grady was doing. "I'm not your patient, Doctor. I have enough to do without analyzing all of it." He sighed. "I'm not trying to offend you, here. I just..."

"You don't know how much to tell her. You're afraid that, if people know what you really are, they'll stop trusting you." He opened his eyes. "But after all this time, they should trust you even with your... heritage."

"Some people believe extra terrestrials are a threat. Kryptonians brought destruction and meteors twice. The second time, they were bent on domination. Why should they think differently of me?"

"Because of what you've been doing. Aren't you tired of living all of your existence in secret? Why not spend at least half of it open? Superman is an opportunity to stop living a complete lie."

Clark tossed his napkin on the table. "You're one to talk about lies, Grady. Because of you, Lois lost everything she once was."

Grady drew back. "I did what she asked me to. It was her choice and it can't be undone."

"But because of it, she has to be protected. Not just from someone like Luthor, who could remember and find her, but from herself. Linda told me about the headaches."

"I... I wish I could take them away, but she has a stubborn mind. It asks to let go one moment, then holds on the next."

"I just want to keep her safe," Clark said tiredly. "You don't have to worry about me working with her. I'll reinforce your lies as long as I have to."

"I have a session with her at four." Grady looked at his watch. "I just wanted to make sure you weren't doing anything I'd have to take away. I do want her to continue happily with her job."

"It's what I want for her, too. I'm not someone you should worry about."

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"And then there's this hallway," Lois went on, laying her head back. "There's a woman in a straightjacket and I try to help her, but she's... me."

"Maybe she represents something for you," Doctor Grady said gently.

"Like the fear of going nuts?"

"Do you truly fear you're going nuts?"

Lois sighed. "Sometimes I do. Doctor, I just get so frustrated. I can remember interviews without recording them, facts I only read once. But when it comes to my life, my past... I'm so blank. I have the facts, but none of the details."

"We've talked about this. Aren't you happier when you focus on now? Dredging up the past can often just open old wounds."

"What wounds? I sometimes see things and feel sad. There's this necklace in my jewelry box. It has an M on it. I want to cry when I look at it, but I can't think why. And my cousin.... The one involved in the Luthor fiasco. I don't know. It doesn't seem like we were close, yet... I've been trying to find information on her. It feels so important to do it..."

"Why? You have the life you've always wanted. As sad as your cousin's death was, shouldn't you move on from it? Your happier if..."

"You and happiness," she sneered. Then she sat up. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. I just... You've helped me so much, but... There's just something missing on my life." She drew in a deep breath. "Maybe this is all just displaced frustration. Superman still doesn't know I'm alive. I've seen him fly by and I've even called out and he... It's not just the article. I feel this strange connection with him." She laughed. "Yeah. I bet every woman in Metropolis does. I bet half of your patients are coming to you with super sex dreams."

He smiled. "Maybe a third." He looked at his watch. "We'll talk more next week. In the meantime, try some meditation. Focus on the future and what you want."

She stood. "Is that your way of telling me to stop my hopeless, schoolgirl crush?"

He chuckled. "There are other newsworthy items out there."

She shrugged and put her purse on her shoulder. "Yeah. Superman's not the only game in town."

She moved to the door, ready to turn back and wish him a goodnight when she opened it, but all movement, nearly all thought, was banished at the sight of the man before her.

She knew he was Lex Luthor. His face was as familiar as her own. She remembered writing some pieces on him before he went into seclusion. She stood frozen, staring at this man that she almost knew. He was so inexorably connected with her cousin's death, so suspiciously tied to the events. She didn't trust his version, though the judicial system had judged it to be true. An unexplainable feeling of hatred unfroze her limbs as she pulled the door wide.

"Lex?" Grady said from behind her. "We... Weren't we supposed to meet at your home at six? You shouldn't..."

Lex didn't take his eyes from Lois as he spoke. "I apologize for intruding on a session, Doctor. But I had business in the city and thought it would be more convenient to meet here and save us both the drive."

Lois slowly turned to Grady. She nearly wanted to throw herself behind him. Ask him to protect her. The hate inside her mingled with fear. Had he lied? Had he killed her cousin? In her mind, she could nearly see him pull the trigger.

Grady had the strangest look on his face. "I have no problem meeting here. If you'd just move so my patient can get by..."

Lex didn't move. Lois turned back to find him staring at her again. "I know who you are," he said, tilting his head to the side.

The fear, the hate. It was still running through her as she spoke. "Do you?"

"I've read your work." He suddenly smiled. "You're a very probing reporter, Miss... Lane is it?"

She returned his smile tightly. "You've guessed correctly. I should go." She started forward and he moved aside.

"Wait. I'll ride down with you." She turned back as he turned to Grady. "I left my cell in the limo, Doctor. I should get it."

Doctor Grady looked from one to the other. "But you..."

"I'm early, anyway." He turned back to Lois and smiled. "I'm sure Miss Lane would appreciate the company."

"I... I don't..." She stared at Luthor's wide smile above the suit that probably cost more than she made in a year, then at Grady's strangely horrified face. Maybe Luthor inspired everyone with the feelings he raised in her. He was a corporate shark who was gaining power back every day. But she was a reporter. She wasn't going to let blind fear keep her from at least speaking to the man. If nothing else, she could get a story out of it. "I don't mind," she finished, raising her chin and smiling at Grady.

She strode to the elevator and pressed the down button. It was only three floors, anyway. She stiffened as she felt a hand on her back.

"Careful. Those doors are tricky." He was staring again.

"I think I'll survive." She stepped in and away from his hand.

"Interesting articles," he said as the door closed on Grady's still shocked face.

She kept her eyes on the doors. "Oh, you've read my work?"

"How could I avoid the voice that railed so loudly against my release?" He tilted his head. "I found your articles online. There's something that doesn't add up about you."

She raised her eyebrows. Fear seemed to dwarf the hatred. Even the playful tone of his voice sent shivers up her spine. "There is?"

He smiled wider. "How could you be so against me when you don't even know me? I'll grant you that my father did some very heinous things. From what I remember of him from... before. Well, he must have gotten worse. The police found things in our home that were nothing less than disturbing." He shuddered. "I've been trying to live down my father's name since I was a boy. I'm trying to establish my own business without the stain of his name." He looked down and took a deep breath. "I really want the world to begin trusting the name Luthor."

She suddenly found herself believing his words. "Is that on the record?"

He looked over at her and gave her a half-smile. "If you'd like it to be. In fact, an interview wouldn't be..." He turned fully towards her as the doors opened, then looked out. "Oh, we've stopped."

She started out, knowing he was behind her. She suddenly found herself whirling around in fear, only to see his stunned face. It betrayed a hint of surprise and... interest? "Mr. Luthor, I..."

"Please, call me Lex. I have an understandable aversion to my last name."

"Well... Lex, then. Maybe you are trying to reestablish yourself in business and maybe you do feel some remorse at your father's deeds, but..." She took a deep breath. "I lost someone in my family and it is tied to your family. I don't think an interview is a good idea."

"What happened to your cousin was awful. I'd give anything to have... shot my father in time." he shook his head. "I know what must have happened. The details are fuzzy, but... I'm very sorry. I've even looked your cousin up, trying to remember." He suddenly smiled sadly. "She seemed to be a budding journalist like you. She even looked a bit like you."

"Yes. I know. I..." She turned away and started for the outer doors, suddenly eager to move into the fading sunlight. She felt cold. "Mr. Luthor, you headed up Luthorcorp for a time. I don't believe the dealings there were any more honest under you."

"Perhaps they weren't," he said behind her. "But, as awful as my memory loss has been, it's given me a chance to start fresh. I have the resources to do many good things for this city and I know I will."

"Then do them." She pushed open the door and turned to him. "I'll believe it when I see it." She strode off before he had the chance to answer. She hurriedly hailed a cab. She just wanted to get away.

In the cab, her mind began turning. Was it strange that she and Luthor, both patients of Grady, were suffering memory loss? He claimed his methods could help people move past issues stemming from childhood or post traumatic stress. It seemed to work. She often felt as if weight had been lifted from her after their sessions, but today... For the first time in over two months, she was wondering what was in those "healthy" blank spots.

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