It was cold, beneath her and over her. Snow. Wind. She opened her eyes and saw clear blue sky. She had the feeling they weren't in Kansas anymore and she wondered why she wasn't freaking out about now. A part of her knew she should be. Was it just that nothing could surprise her after a day in superhero central? Or was there more? Because this wasn't exactly unfamiliar...
She heard labored breathing next to her and sat up, slightly dizzy. Clark was just laying there next to her, his eyes closed. She rose to her knees and leaned over him. "Clark, where are we?"
He moaned and opened his eyes slightly. "Fortress," he said. He tried to sit up, but failed. Lois grasped his arms, but he fell down again. She turned to her right, seeing nothing but more snow.
"Clark, what do you mean by..." But she saw it then. It was to her left, glinting slightly in the distance. It looked like spikes of ice, crossing each other and pointing inward and up. It was strange, yet so...
He heard a groan next to her and turned to Clark again. She stood quickly. The snow was seeping into her clothes and Clark couldn't be doing much better. "Clark, how are you feeling?"
He sat up, then. "Just dizzy, weak..." He looked ahead, his eyes opening fully. "I'm fine," he grunted. "We have to get there."
Lois looked back at the structure. It was either small and close or large and far away. She didn't foresee much respite from the cold in there. But if Clark said so... "Come on, then." She grasped his arm. "You have to help me here."
Clark leaned forward and got to his knees, then stood slowly, leaning against her only slightly.
She gasped at the sheer weight of even that. She'd been helping him around for two days and it was starting to wear on her. "You know," she started, putting one of his arms over her shoulders, "It's possible that you should have brought Victor along. I saw him lift the couch helping Bart find his ipod and..."
"Has to be you," Clark cut in, his breath in her hair. She wished he'd keep it up. It felt warm. "Jor-El doesn't like visitors."
"Who's Jor-El?" she grunted, moving a few steps. "And what makes me the perfect houseguest?"
"He's... grateful to you."
She didn't stop to give him the look of a woman who'd been suffering his fevered nonsense for nearly forty-eight hours. There really wasn't time. "Well... Good. Always nice to have the gratitude of strangers."
**********************
Clark tried to move faster. The cold seeped into his limbs, making it as hard to move as it was to think. He'd done this journey powerless, but never ill. And he really needed to shut up, too. He seemed to have no control over what came out of his mouth lately. She looked at him like he was crazy more often than not these days, no matter how true his words were.
Jor-El did owe her a few. She saved him from Brainiac at the fortress. She saved him at the house just before Jor-El saved her. She helped destroy the last phantom. If anyone should be welcome in the fortress, it was her, whether she knew it or not. He had to ask Jor-El, had to see if he could restore her. He owed her that much.
They were getting closer. He summoned his waning strength and tried to move faster. She moved along beside him, panting heavily, not speaking. He wanted to stop, allow her to rest, but he wasn't sure if he wouldn't collapse if they stopped moving. "Almost there," he breathed, not sure if it was loud enough to hear over the wind.
The snow gave way to hardened ground... Not ground, but the crystalline floors he knew so well. He sped up, but Lois pulled on his arm.
"Clark! The ice. You'll slip. Don't..."
He turned back to her, feeling stronger just being here. He grasped her hand and pulled her forward. "It's not ice."
She looked down, sliding her foot back and forth experimentally. "What is it?"
"It's some kind of crystalline substance from Krypton. Most structures were made from this." He suddenly realized he hadn't told her any of the things he'd learned during training. He wished he could tell her all of it now. But he was happy she was still standing after this last week.
She stepped toward him again, putting an arm around his middle. "Just slow down," she said, looking around her warily. "If you bust your head, we're stuck... here."
He felt her firm against his side. He could tell she was uneasy, but she was so much stronger than even she knew. "It's safe here," he said. "I promise."
She glanced up at him, her eyes frightened. "Yeah. Sure. If you say so."
He stumbled slightly as they moved further in. He felt her at his side, holding him up. "I'm sorry," he said, his voice shaking
************************
Lois was not okay. She did not like snow. And she did NOT like this place. Not one bit. She couldn't explain it. The minute they neared it, she'd felt as if he would slip away from her. Maybe that was why she couldn't release her death grip on him now. Sure, she had to help him, but she felt this inexplicable need to keep him near. It was silly. He was right there with her now, practically leaning on her, but she still felt this irrational fear he'd slip away the closer they got to the faint glow ahead. Her eyes stayed firm on it as a sort of fear washed over her. Fear and... jealousy? It was the only thing to describe it. It was as if that place wanted him, would take him away from her... Even sillier, considering he wasn't hers at all. And she'd best remember that.
"Kal-El..."
Lois screamed, jumping slightly against him as the voice boomed out around them.
"Lois..."
"That voice," she whispered, shaking.
"You bring disease to your fortress. I can..." The words faded, almost unrecognizable behind a humming in her ears. Then the voice came through again. Your time will come soon enough... And it wasn't sounding out around her. It seemed to be inside her, echoing. And she felt frantic. It was as if she had something to do and it would be the very last thing she ever did and it grew nearer and nearer. Green light...
******************************
Clark could feel her, nearly vibrating against him. He turned to her, trying to stand on his own. "Lois..."
She suddenly started shaking her head frantically, her eyes slightly glassy. "It's not my time. It's not," she breathed before slumping against him.
"Lois!" He didn't have the strength the hold her as she slid down, taking him with her. He patted her face as she landed in his lap. "Lois, don't..."
"Leave her," he heard. His eyes were drawn to the slight glow at the center, behind a wall of crystals.
"But she's..."
"She is not harmed. She has merely succumbed to mortal hysterics. Come nearer."
Clark glanced down at her, touching her cheek, feeling her breath on his palm. He glared slightly toward the light in the center. As much as he'd made strides in his understanding of his father as he lived, he could never understand the pragmatism of the artificial intelligence that guarded the fortress. He shrugged out of his jacket, as cold as he was, placing it under her head before moving away. He stumbled slightly as he moved around the wall, falling hard on his knees before even reaching the center. "Father..."
"What is this sickness you bring? I can sense it."
"It's inside me. I've been infected." He gasped, trying to stand. But it took all of his strength to get here. He let himself fall now. "Father, I need your help. The Kryptonite..."
"It flows through your veins," the voice boomed around him. "I could take this away."
"Please..." He waited for the condition, the moment where he was told the price. He almost didn't care. The pain was too great. Whatever Murray had dosed him with was wearing off, he felt the fever singing through his blood again. He'd thought they were past this bargaining. "Whatever you want..."
"I ask for nothing. But you... You want more of me than healing. And for this mortal woman."
He lifted his head, glancing back to her, still out. "She has done more than that for me." He looked back to the center. "And you know it."
"I do not deny it, but I cannot do what you want. I cannot replace what has been taken. It is not mine to give."
"But can't you..."
"We have no time for this." The ground shook beneath him. "Your very presence is a virus. There will not be the strength to heal you if you don't heed me now."
Clark closed his eyes. "What do I have to do?" He heard a slight ringing, it grew louder and he opened his eyes. A crystal in the center seemed to radiate pure light.
"Take it," Jor-El's voice said, sounding fainter now. "Take it now."
He could hardly stand, but he tried, finally stumbling to the mass of crystals that made up the hub of the fortress. This was one he had never touched. Some told him of his once-home, some had helped him learn to harness his power. But this one...
He grasped it, falling to his knees again. It fairly burned in his hand as he pulled it from the mass, the light radiating from it growing brighter, surrounding him, moving through him until it no longer burned. And he felt it... He felt his mind clear, his strength return, the feeling of cold and languor left his limbs as the crystal dimmed in his hand.
He stood, staring at it's dimming light. "What is this?"
"It is one of the main sources of power to your fortress. Its power to heal balances the fortress."
"Like in the ship," he breathed.
"Yes. The ship that carried you had a similar power source."
He looked at the crystal again. "Father, I need to take this with me."
"It should not leave..."
"This infection has spread to more than just me. There are people who have been..."
"The power it would take to activate this crystal outside could drain you of more than your strength."
He thought of his infected blood, being spread in some experiment. If he could save someone... "That might be a chance I have to take." There was silence around him. He waited for the righteous anger, the warning... "Nothing to say now?"
"I have said all there is to say. The decision to use it may be to your detriment."
"But to save a life..."
"It is a choice you'll have to make. It may be that you survive, but it may not."
It was almost a welcome change, being given a choice. He glanced behind him again. She was stirring slightly. He had to get her out of here. This might have been a bit much for her even without their history. "Can you..." He turned back to the hub. "Can't you help her?"
"I cannot. I have done what I can for this female you've chosen."
He turned fully to her. "I have chosen her," he said quietly, wondering how Jor-El knew when he hadn't, not really. He hadn't realized how fully until he'd heard it from Jor-El's own... synthetic voice. Strangely, the idea of only her and no one else wasn't scary at all.
"I felt its presence when she... but she should know that it will be hard to remove... not the impulse of a moment that guides..." Jor-El's voice faded, slowed, seemed to come in and out like bad cell reception.
"Father?" Clark furrowed his brow. He had no idea what he was trying to say. Clark glanced at the crystal still in his hand. Its absence was draining the fortress. It glowed only faintly. He placed it in his pocket. "I will replace it... I hope," he whispered into the silence. He thought of Jor-El's warning. Would he use it? He had to stop the infection from spreading. This crystal was the only key to that. But there seemed to be a built-in cost.
He turned to Lois, who twitched slightly on the crystalline floor. He no longer felt the cold, but she must. He rushed to her, scooping her up and lifting off, moving south, toward home. She stirred in his arms as he flew higher, closer to the sun. She needed it as much as he did. They both needed their strength. He felt the weight of the crystal in his pocket. He might need all of his strength tonight.
Because he couldn't let the infection spread. He knew that. No matter what the cost.
He stopped, hovering a moment. She was moving now, and harder. "Lois?"
"It's not time," she said, struggling against him. "I have to help him. He can't..."
He held tighter, trying to keep her close without hurting her. "Lois, it's okay." He thought of that summer. She'd told him she'd heard Jor-El's voice in her head, telling her her time was coming. He'd been too weak to put it together before. "Lois, you're okay. We're going home."
She opened her eyes. "Clark?"
"It's me."
"What happened? I... Oh, my God!" Her hands suddenly gripped his neck. She whimpered slightly as she looked down.
"We're fine," he said against her hair.
"Could have used some warning that we were in mid-air," she said into his shirt. "How did you..."
"Really long story," he cut in. He pulled back and waited for her to meet his eyes. "Are you okay?"
She swallowed hard, but nodded. "Oh, peachy. Had my daily swoon, so..."
He smiled and moved with her again. If she was joking...
"So... your fortress, huh?" She still sounded shaky. "Not a fan, really, but everyone has their own style."
He stopped again. She looked pale. "Are you sure you're okay?"
"Just get us out of here." She looked down. "I've seen enough snow in my life."
***********************
She squeezed her eyes shut, shivering even as the sun's warmth surrounded her.
She felt Clark squeeze her. "I can fly higher," she heard him say.
She opened her eyes. "No. I'm not cold anymore. Just get us back." She tried to smile. "I'm fine. Really."
He probably didn't believe her, but he sped up, which was all she really wanted. She closed her eyes against the wind and against the pain. Being no stranger to black-outs didn't make her little fainting spell any less scary. He was scared, too. She could feel it in the way he held her just a little too tight. She let him. It was nice to be held, especially now.
Especially by him.
Even though he wasn't hers.
And that was the hardest part. At the table, before the light seemed to devour him, there was this moment... It seemed as if it was all so clear. She would go where he did and that was all there was to it. She didn't need answers. She just needed him.
Outside of that moment, things seemed less clear. She'd heard things, seen things this week that had shaken her entire foundation... as if it had been so solid before. And she couldn't stop thinking. That fortress... It was like something from a childhood dream, something known and feared and revered all at the same time. She'd had what seemed to be a reunion with people she barely remembered. She'd seen Clark for what he was. And she'd seen what he was nearly destroyed. And now? It was as if none of it had ever happened. Really long story, he'd said.
Well, she wanted to hear it. And she needed to hear it from him. She was through letting things go.
She'd let things go before. It was because they had to focus on... No. That was a lie. It was fear and pain that made her shy away from answers. You have to decide if you want to wade through the pain or just let it go. They were Victor's words. They'd been at the back of her mind all day. And she had decided. When they touched down near the caves, she was disappointed. She'd wanted to talk to all of them. She couldn't do that with all of them at the farm and her here.
"Aren't we going to the farm?"
Clark set her down. "Yes. I just can't leave the key."
"Key?"
"Uh... The octagonal disk I used to open the..."
"Oh. Good. That's a key, then. Always good to have new info." Her voice sounded bitter to her ears. She hated it, but couldn't stop it.
He glanced at her worriedly, then looked toward the mouth of the cave. "Do you want to wait here? I realize this is all a bit..."
"No." She started toward the caves. "I'm a little tired of waiting." She moved ahead of him, not sure how to start this. She wanted to know how he was healed. She wanted to know why she knew the voice, why she even knew the fortress, why she could travel to the Arctic with no visible transportation and why none of it felt strange at all. That was the problem. This was all too familiar.
She turned at the entrance and he stopped short in front of her. "Clark, what happened back there?"
He stood still, staring at her. She knew the look: deliberation. She swore she'd seen it on everyone she'd spoke to in these last days. "I found a cure," he finally said.
"And what was it?" She hoped she could at least know that.
He stared at her, then moved past. "We have to get back."
"Clark, I took that journey with you, no questions asked. The least you could do is tell me what happened."
He stopped short of the open wall. "I want to, but..."
She stared at his back, frustrated. "But what?"
He moved toward the table and grasped the thing he called a key. It fairly leaped to his hand. "Lois, just drop it."
She stood in front of him as he moved forward. "No. You can spare two minutes to tell me."
He grasped her shoulders and lifted, moving her backward bodily. He set her down as the wall closed behind him.
She grasped his arms. "I knew that place. I knew that voice. And it wasn't some mysterious thing, Clark. I've been there."
"We have to get back."
"And you knew it," she went on, tightening her grip. "Because why else would you take me there? Why not someone else, someone stronger who..."
"I can't!" he suddenly yelled, pulling away from her, backing toward the wall. He closed his eyes, leaning his head back. "Lois, you lost consciousness back there." His eyes opened, boring into hers. "You think I can just play God when you..."
"Yes, I fainted," she yelled, her voice echoing off the walls. "And I got through it. I can't... I never realized before...." She turned away, trying to keep herself on track. It hurt. She turned back again, not caring if it hurt. "I never thought it was you. I thought it was Linda, even Ollie in these last days. Everyone has been tiptoeing around me and I just never..." She shook her head, her voice breaking. "I never really thought it was you, too."
He held her stare, his eyes so full of... something. She didn't know what.
"What?" she suddenly screamed. "Just say it."
He held his silence.
"Was it a government experiment? Ollie wouldn't say, but there has to be a reason why Grady..."
"Lois, please don't..."
"Does it have to with these drawings?" She looked at the caves around her. "Was there some kind of kryptonian curse with Naman and Sageeth and..."
"How do you know about that?" Clark cut in, staring at her.
She found herself speechless. If she wanted the truth from him, then maybe she should give a little to get a little. She lifted her head, meeting his eyes. "I've been here," she finally admitted.
He didn't say a word, but his eyes... They seemed so... open now. She could even see the ghost of a smile on his lips. It almost made her stop, think of another story, something else to explain why she'd been here.
She took a deep breath, knowing she had to tell him everything. "You were right about Luthor," she finally said, hoping to start off with the good news.
His eyes changed then, narrowing, turning nearly icy. "Luthor?"
She turned away. It would make it easier to say. "I met him here. He told me about Naman, about Sageeth and... He was so erratic. He was nothing like himself. He kept..."
"Why didn't you listen?"
She felt his hands on her shoulders now, nearly painful in their grip. "Clark?"
He turned her to face him, his eyes wild, nearly desperate. "I told you to stay away from him. I told you he was bad news, but you think you know better and..."
"Let me go!"
He did, backing away. "Why?" He shook his head. "Why would you even look at him, let alone meet him and..."
"Because he knows what it's like," she cut in. "Whatever was done to me was done to him." She held his stare. "And I hoped that, with all his money and power, that he had an answer. Because I can't pretend anymore. I can't pretend I can live with it. Do you have any idea what it's like to not remember your mother's voice?" She looked down as her eyes filled. "I have these gaps, these blanks, and all I want to know is why. Why did he do this to me?"
Clark's mouth worked silently for a moment. "I... want to..."
She stepped forward, grasping his shoulders. "What? Just say it." She tried to shake him, but he didn't budge. "Clark, please..." Her hands softened on his face. "Please, I need..."
Of course, what she needed was changing. At this moment, she didn't need his words. She leaned up, pressing her lips to his. He was well. He wouldn't die. They were alive and, by God, she felt it now. Life thrummed through her veins, beat in hidden places, accompanied by a strange tingling in her left wrist.
She pulled back, seeing confusion and lust in his eyes. She ran her fingers over them, closing them for him as she pressed herself against him.
There would be time for answers. For now, she just needed him... even if he wasn't hers.
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