Before Sunset (Twenty-Two)

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"Here's the thing... You're my girlfriend now. Got it?"

To her credit, she only choked a little.

"Girlfriend?" she sputtered, wiping her chin. "Don't you think we should discuss..."

"Argue all you want. But I'm not budging on this."

She gently placed her can on the floor. "I'm not trying to argue. I want to have a reasonable talk."

"Yeah, well, I wanted that before, then you started having sex with me, so talking's over."

"So it was just me?" She stood. "How did you manage to suffer through it?"

"Don't be like that. I mean that you started something when you knew..." He took a deep breath. "Chloe, you knew that sex wasn't something I just... do for the hell of it. I think I've made that pretty clear. This isn't out of the blue. I told you before we did it that it meant something and this is what it meant."

"Told me? You were ranting on a coffee high. I could hardly get a coherent sentence out of you. Now you're strutting around making declarations and... I'm just supposed to fall in line?"

"Fine," he hissed. "Let's have your argument. Tell me why you don't want this."

"I'm not saying I don't," she said quickly. "I just think this is a little sudden."

He nodded solemnly. "You're right. Let's be friends for five more years and have more sex before we jump into something as crazy as dating."

"Now you're making fun of me?"

"I can't help it. This isn't sudden. You and I have been all over the map on what we are for years. We've finally figured it out. This makes sense."

"How does this make sense? We're stuck in the middle of nowhere at the brink of death. Any two people..."

"No, we're not... I mean, we're not at the brink of death. And that's no accident," he said gravely. "I don't think any two people could survive this. I told you there was no one else I could see myself getting through this with and I meant it. We've got this far because this is me and you. And me and you... it makes sense, more now than ever."

"You might think that now, but..."

"No. Hear me out. A few days ago, you found out my last secret. And after last night, I don't think you have any secrets from me."

She ducked her head, remembering some of what spewed forth from her. "We both said things last night. Things that might have been exaggerated with the drinking and..."

"Maybe you have. I haven't." His voice dropped. "So what are you saying? Last night, before we went to sleep... You didn't mean what you said?"

She sat hard on the bed, still staring at the floor. She couldn't lie. "I'm not saying that. But you... just because I said that doesn't mean you're obligated to me. I'm a big girl and I can handle..."

"This isn't an obligation. This feels right."

She looked up, finding a new avenue. "Sure. In the middle of nowhere, away from home, this might feel very right and very safe, but..."

His face reddened. "Stop doing that. Stop telling me what I feel."

"I'm not trying to tell you what to feel. I'm just asking you to consider the possibility that this is about feeling comforted in a bad situation and you might think..."

He rolled his eyes. "And now you're telling me what I think."

She stood, putting up her hands. "I'm sure that we're both attracted to each other and maybe there's comfort in us knowing each other so well, but there's still..."

"God, Chloe." He chuckled bitterly. "Only you would try to argue me out of dating you."

"Once again, I'm not trying to argue. I'm simply pointing out some key..."

"You know what? Fine! You know everything and I know nothing and I'm not your stupid boyfriend. That what you want?"

She drew back, blinking rapidly. "Oh. Okay. Because I was... uh..."

"Oh, for crying out loud!"

She was suddenly against him, one large hand tangled in her hair, the other fisted in the sheet at her back and lips just everywhere. Not everywhere, exactly. They were on hers, but they seemed to be devouring her. She could hardly breath. She'd just remembered that people can breathe through their noses when he ripped his lips away. "I'm sorry. You just... Do you have any idea how frustrating you are?"

"I'm not trying to be frustrating." Of course, she could try harder if it got her kissed more. What were they talking about again? She didn't care. She tilted her head up.

"Well, are you trying to be a know-it-all?"

She pushed at his chest, suddenly less interested in kissing. "I'm not a know-it-all." Were they in eighth grade again?

His arms hardly budged. "Yeah, you are. You always have been." He had the nerve to smile.

She tried for another push, but she had no leverage, being so close. "Well, if i'm such a know-it-all, why would you date me?"

He smiled again and shrugged. "It comes in handy, most times. Not when I'm right, which I obviously am about us."

She gave up pushing and deflated, staring up at him. "What makes you so sure this is gonna work?"

"What makes you so sure it's not?" he countered.

"Clark, have you not heard anything I've been saying? "

"Sure. I heard you going on and on about me and how I'm deluding myself and I don't actually want this."

"I never said deluding," she mumbled.

"I haven't heard one reason why you don't want this... if you even have one." He tilted his head, mocking her. "Do you?"

It pissed her off and she narrowed her eyes, pulling out her last and best argument. "Lana." That was all she said.

That was, apparently, enough. He let her go, looking down. "I was hoping you wouldn't say that."

"Well, I have to. Somebody had to."

********************

He wished she hadn't. What was he supposed to say to that? What could he say that wouldn't have this talk of hers drawn out into infinity?

And it would be. Because the plain truth was...

"I haven't thought about Lana," he said quietly, feeling like a jerk.

It was true. He'd left her safe at a hospital and, for the greater part of four days, he hadn't thought much about her. Sure, he started to, but there were so many other things to think about away from Smallville. Thinking about Lana was heavy with years of guilt and a million strained silences between them. It was amazing how light it felt, even with the weight of arctic survival on him, just not thinking about Lana for once. It wasn't something that had happened since he was a kid.

"Well, maybe you should. Clark, only a week ago, you and Lana were back on track to being... more in love than ever. If none of this had happened, you'd be having this conversation with her, not me. So excuse me if I'm a little leery of how we got here."

But maybe he should be thinking about Lana. Maybe she was right. Why did she always have to be right? 

And how did they get here? They were supposed to start over, him and Lana. They seemed to be getting along, for a change. Jason was out of the picture, but the last time they spoke...

Clark, I need you to know... that whatever happens, I will never forget you.

He blushed at the memory, feeling like an even bigger jerk. He hadn't returned the favor these last few days. 

But maybe that was because, deep down, he'd said goodbye to Lana, especially once he knew Jor-El wanted him to stay. It hadn't occured to him that losing his powers could be a game-changer, that the goodbye was erased. Here he was, trying to get home. Still, the minute he touched Chloe, it became a goodbye, maybe not as in never seeing each other again, but to always trying to make something work when it just wouldn't. How many times did he and Lana need to crash and burn before he got it? Even the last time they spoke, there were clues.

She'd told him she loved him, kissed him and left, leaving him staring at the stone that she said was meant for him. The blood-stained stone.

Remember all those times that I asked you for an explanation, but you said you couldn't give me one? That I had to trust you? Well, this time I need you to trust me.

Trust. It was a word that seemed to come up every day of his life. Did he trust her? He wanted to, he'd always wanted to. He just could never bring himself to actually do it. And maybe that's why leaving her at that hospital without a goodbye was so easily done. He didn't know if he ever would.

If none of this had happened, you'd be having this conversation with her, not me. That was probably true. And it made him feel hollow. Because what would happen? The same thing as always. He would miss dates, she'd get angry, he'd never be able to explain, he'd break her heart over and over again only to find, in the end, he could never tell her that the meteor showers that brought him into this world killed her parents. What would that make them, some by-product of her parents death? 

He remembered when he first put it together, that he was the cause. He'd started talking to her more, strangely. Looking back, he'd think that would be a reason to avoid her. But he stopped admiring the pretty girl from afar and started talking to her then. He wasn't sure what he expected to get. She was with Whitney, then. Maybe some kind of absolution. Maybe if he saved her enough, made her happy somehow, it would all be forgiven, even if she didn't know what she was forgi...

"Oh, my God," he muttered. "Is that really it?"

"What?"

He hadn't realized he'd said it aloud. He looked up to find Chloe staring at him, still waiting for that talk. "I get it now," he said louder, figuring the talk would go better if he actually talked. "Me and Lana. Why it's always so hard. Always so tied up with guilt and what she expects and hiding and the meteor shower and... I get it now."

"Okay. Maybe you need to slow down because I don't get it.

"Yeah. Allright." He nodded. "See, Lana is... she's all I ever wanted. All these years, day in, day out, it's all about her, everything I do is about impressing her or getting closer to her."

Chloe pursed her lips. "Mm-hmm. All about Lana. Got it."

"No. You see, I'm chasing after something I'm never going to get. I need to stop that and... be with you."

Her eyes widened. "Really? I guess I make a great consolation prize."

"No, no, no. I'm saying this wrong. Come on." He grabbed Chloe by the shoulders and steered her to the bed. 

She shook him off. "Clark, if you think I'm in the mood for..."

"Just sit. Hear me out. Okay?"

She glared at him, but she did sit.

"Okay. Here we go. See... I told you about how the meteors, they were tailing the ship that brought me here."

She tilted her head. "No. You said the ship that just blew in was carrying rocks, but..."

"Oh. Well, now you know. That's why I keep chasing after Lana."

She shook her head. "Yeah... It's nice to get confirmation and all, but what does that have to do with you and Lana."

"I killed her parents."

"Wha..."

"I mean, not me personally, but the meteors I was dragging did, so, in my mind, I might as well have."

"Clark..." Her eyes softened. "How does that even follow? You couldn't have been more than a baby and you had no control..."

"Maybe I didn't, but it's undeniable that my coming to earth resulted in her parents' death. I didn't even know that until freshman year. Before that, I hardly spoke to her. I mean, sure I had a crush. Who didn't? But after that... It was like I had to be a part of her life. I had to make it better. She was all I thought about. Do you get it now?"

"I don't know if..."

"Maybe all I really do want is for her to forgive me, but I'm never going to get that unless I tell her. But why would I tell her? There's not even a point. Like you actually need to know. I mean, I should have told you all along. I bet we would've saved the town quicker every time, but her... I mean, if you take love out of it, what do we even have? It's not like me and you. It's not like we're friends. I'm chasing after this acceptance I'm never going to get from her and that I already got from you."

I think you're so amazing. You save people's lives and take zero credit for it. To me, you're more than just a hero. You're a super hero. He'd imagined that moment with Lana so many times. It was always angry or sullen or filled with tears. Even her best imagined reaction was nothing like what he got from Chloe. That was the problem. "Everything with Lana is hard. It's so tied up with guilt and fear. What kind of relationship is that? Even as friends, I always... She was so hard to be around, always picking what to say. Even before you knew, I never did that with you. I never felt like I had to, even before you knew, being with you isn't hard. It's..."

"Easy," she finished.

"Exactly." He smiled again.

"So I'm the easier choice?"

"Not like that. I mean..."

"You can't have the girl of your dreams because then you'd have to tell her. But now I know, so... Why not just date me? We have some chuckles. It's sooo easy..."

He strode away, trying to get some perspective. "I'm not saying this right. Being with you has always been easier. I don't feel like I have to impress you or..."

"Of course. Why impress me? You can woo Lana up and down for years. But me... Just slip me on like a comfortable shoe and..."

He whirled on her. "Christ! Did I say you were easy? I must have been nuts. What I mean is..."

She stood. "Okay. As flattered as I am by your settling for me, I think I'll pass on this girlfriend..."

"Will you let me talk? I'm trying to say that you're right for me! You always were!" She, thankfully, shut her mouth. He moved toward her before she could open it again. "Chloe, we've been working together for years and, even before you knew, you had my back in every way. And there I am, running after a girl where it's all me saving her. Even before you knew, I could talk to you about damn near anything for hours. And I'm chasing after a girl I can hardly speak to for five minutes. Now maybe you're right. Maybe if none of this had happened, I'd be with Lana right now. But this happened and thank God it did because, even at my happiest with Lana, it was always hard It's not hard to be with you. Being with you could be the easiest thing in my life."

"Well... The..." She swallowed hard. "There's this saying about the easy road and how it's... not usually the right..."

"Do you have to argue everything?"

"I'm just pointing out that they always say..."

"I don't give a sh*t what they always say! I don't even know who they are! You don't have a leg to stand on or you wouldn't pull out some tired old saying just to..."

"You don't have to yell at me. If this is the kind of boyfriend you are, no wonder things were hard with..."

"You're the one making it hard."

"Oh, I'm so sorry." She stepped up to him. "I completely forgot to be easy and comfortable and attainable and pleasing to you!"

"I take it back! You're not easy. And you know what? You are a know-it-all."

"Stop calling me that!"

"You always have to be right, even when you're dead wrong!"

"And you always have to be... tall," she finished on a shout. 

"Are you kind of turned on right now?" he yelled.

"Yes, I am," she yelled back.

He wasn't sure who moved first, but they hit the bed in a jumble of lips, hands, and, after a few seconds of shuffling, skin. 

He wasn't filled with awe in a darkened cave. She wasn't bathed in sunlight, riding him almost clumsily until he burst. They knew what they were doing now. His fingers found her clit easily. Her hand wrapped around his c*ck, squeezing so right, he nearly lost all rhythm. But only nearly. Within seconds, they were panting into each other's mouths, her legs opening wider as he slid into her without fumbling even a little. It was hard, fast, and... easy.

And, despite what she thought, he knew that was a good thing.


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