The Depths We Sink To (Chapter 37)

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PREVIOUS CHAPTER

I will start spoiling Arctic in this chapter. 

I have been going into detail with these lately, knowing a lot of readers didn't watch all of season 7, but I think I'm going to go off that a bit now, skipping a little in the interest of not trudging through scenes that don't necessarily enrich the Chlex or give us info I can more easily summarize. Cool? 

But here's a summary of Arctic: http://smallville.wikia.com/wiki/Arctic 

I will note that, in the episode, Lex had no bandage on his hand. And he was moving around quite easily for a guy that was grunting and sweating in pain one episode ago. I mean, for a guy who presumably still has a chest full of stitches, he was pretty darned spry. 

So I can smugly tell myself that the previous chapter TOTALLY HAPPENED.  

Chapter 37 

He felt energized, almost keyed up, but he laid still until she rolled off him, still keeping one arm slung across his chest, which was surprising. Everything about this night was surprising, from the device in his mantle, to the video, to showing up on her to find that there was someone in this world who truly cared about him, even with all he'd done. The truth and the girl. Was it possible to do all the wrong things and still end up with the absolute contentment of having everything he wanted? 

It felt that way. It felt like he was buzzing with life. He recognized the feeling from that night she healed his concussion, remembered the strange high of it, as if she gave everything in her over to him. How did he deserve that? He lifted his head. "Unbelievable," he breathed, lifting a hand to touch the unmarred flesh under her short, mussed hair. 

She grunted and lifted her head. 

"There's nothing there." He squinted at her and rolled them over, stared at her chest, usually fascinating in and of itself. But now... He ran his fingers over the smooth skin. "Nothing here." 

She stared up at him, sighing. "It only ever hurts for a little while, depending on what I've taken." 

"That night, when you took the bullet wound..." 

"Lex, you need to understand. Lois and Kara were being held by that madman who shot you. What we did saved their lives. If..." 

"I'm not asking about that," he broke in quickly. A part of him still felt anger that they'd carted his half dead body around, but it was different knowing that Sullivan had been there, ready to do... Well, just what she did. "That night you healed me. How bad was the pain?" 

She closed her eyes and swallowed hard. "It wasn't so much pain as... It was kind of a death. Eighteen hours... with no heartbeat." 

"And who told you that?" 

"Lex..." 

"Clark or Lana? I saw all three of you, Lana too, on the video." 

"It was only..." 

"And don't try to tell me they don't know." 

"Lana doesn't. Okay? I care about her, but... we don't exactly trust each other, okay?" 

"Not an issue you have with Clark." 

"Clark... He's my best friend." 

"I'm aware of that. You two share everything," he said, trying to keep the bitterness out of his voice. 

"If you're trying to imply that you should have known about this, then maybe you should remember what you did to me last year." 

"But if I'd known..." 

"What? That my power was harmless?" She shook her head. "What if it was less harmless, Lex? Does that mean I'm automatically going to do something bad with it? Meteor abilities don't make you do bad things. The ones that do... that was always in them to begin with." 

He didn't necessarily agree with that, but he kept silent. He'd seen too many freaks with clean records before they could suddenly walk through walls or turn their limbs to sharp metal. "We might never agree on this," he said, touching her unmarked side, her unscarred hand. "But couldn't you at least recognize that keeping some of them away from the public... It also protects them." 

"Lex, no." 

"Chloe, this isn't the first time you died, is it? You ended up in the morgue this summer. I may have been in prison at the time, but that doesn't mean I didn't know." 

"Well, I woke up just fine. It was just the first time. Now I know what to avoid." 

"Like people finding out and making you churn out miracle cures and..." 

"I know what you're trying to say and I don't need protecting and I don't want to be hidden from the world. This power... I was given a gift and it's my right to use it to... do good things." 

"I don't want to argue." Not now. Not when none of it mattered. They'd go away, anyhow. He'd keep an eye on his interests remotely. And he'd keep her safe from being bled dry to make some miracle drug. He leaned down, brushed his lips over her ribs, swore he could still feel the faint imprint of the mark she took from him. She was a better person than he was, but he'd known that all along. Through years of study now, both his own collection of freaks and the ones Lionel had files on, he knew that people were given the powers they truly somehow wanted, deep down. The fact that she would want this, would want to take someone else's pain, was rather humbling. 

He kissed her side. "Does it still hurt?" 

"Not anymore," she said softly, then let out a short breath of laughter. "I can't help thinking the orgasms kind of help." 

"So that's why you showed up that weekend," he said on a chuckle. 

"No," she sighed as he brushed his lips over her palm. "I didn't think about that then. Except maybe... wanting to see you unhurt. Wanting to kind of celebrate that we lived." 

"Did you love me then?" he whispered, wondering if he was pushing it. She hadn't exactly said the words. 

"I think I started to," she said without hesitation, surprising him. "Lex, you're so much more than... money and power. There's something better in you." 

He groaned and ducked his head slightly, feeling somehow embarrassed. 

"I mean it." She sat up. "I didn't know you well when you first came to Smallville. But most of the time, I saw you trying so hard to be a better man, keep the factory open, creating jobs. These aren't the actions of a man that only cares about what he can get. And Clark... You were always trying to help him be more confident and..." 

"Yeah. And look at us now." 

"But it didn't have to be that way." She pushed him down, leaned over him. "Lex, it doesn't have to be that way. We're leaving this. And... I'm willing to leave. I'm willing to put everything away and forget the past and just focus on being happy." She gave him a slight smile. "As long as you are." 

He squinted up at her, felt like there was some kind of condition inherent in her words. "I could do that," he said carefully, "just as soon as I take care of a few things." 

"Like what? We just need to go, Lex. We can leave tonight." 

He stared at her, almost agreeing. Hell, his interests, though not all his money, was already signed over to Mercer, not that she knew that yet. He could leave her to take care of everything. But not The Traveler. That belonged to him. "I'll tell you what," he leaned up and met her lips, noted her kind of adorably furrowed brow. If he could get her away, make her happy, she could drop her questionable alliances, whatever they were. "I can have a jet ready for you tonight, carte blanche at the resort of your choice." He smiled. "And I'll join you when I can." 

She didn't smile back. In fact, she sat up and turned away. "I can't just... What is so important you need to stay?" 

He couldn't tell her that. He sat up as well. "Why won't you go without me?" 

********************** 

She couldn't answer that. But if they didn't leave, he'd keep digging about the Traveler and... Damn it, if they just went away, went tonight, everyone would be safe. He could forget his quest and she could forget hers. Because Lex, underneath it all, Lex was always what they were fighting against. If she could take him away, make him happy, everything would be fine. Besides all that... "Maybe I don't believe you'll show up." 

"And I promise I will." 

She shook her head, knowing that wasn't a promise he could keep. Her mind worked frantically, thinking of what could convince him, besides all the things she could never tell him. She turned to him. "Lex, whatever it is you're after, you've nearly died twice in the last week." 

He narrowed his eyes. "Twice, huh? And how exactly do you know that?" 

"Does it matter? You yourself say I seem to make it my business to know everything. Lex, speaking as someone who just saved your damned hide for the third time, I'd like to think that you'd eventually stop putting yourself in danger." She took a deep breath. "If you trust me, I can... Lex, I don't care what we were to each other all this time. If I can forget what you've done to me, then you can forget some very mild snooping on my part and..." 

"Mild?" 

"Would you just listen?" She knelt up, took him by the shoulders. "Lex, this is the right thing to do. And we'll both be happier. Trust me on this." 

"Trust you?" He pulled away. "Trust goes both ways, Chloe. Maybe you need to trust me when I tell you I have some more important things first and then..." 

"And then you will never show!" she snapped, scrambling off the bed and moving to her bathroom, grabbing her robe and jerking it on. "You'll find some new mysterious, shiny thing. You'll convince yourself that you alone are in some way destined to dabble in things you don't understand!" 

He stood, shaking his head. "What exactly do you know, Sullivan?" 

She barked out a bitter laugh. "And here we go again! Does it matter, Lex? I've watched you for years. This is what you do! Every time you're on the verge of being happy, you find some shiny thing to chase, some more important thing and everyone around you gets hurt and you convince yourself it's worth it! And if you keep this up, you'll never be happy! 

"And what about you? You with your mysterious activities. Are you happy, Chloe? Unemployed and stuck in a dead-end relationship, always landing in dangerous..." 

"If I've been in mortal danger lately, it's only from saving your ass." 

"I never asked you to..." 

"But let's leave me out of this," she said stiffly. "Let's talk about another man who destroyed everything around him chasing shadows until he was left alone and unloved and miserable. You should know who I'm talking about. You ended his life and took his place and, trust me, you'll be just as happy as he was in the end!" She stared across the bed at him, the both of them red-faced and glaring and she knew, she knew that this night had been just another mistake in a long line of mistakes involving him. "I can't believe I let you in again," she said, her voice breaking slightly. "Just go." 

"I can't see why, either," he said casually, moving to pick up his clothes. "You talk about forgetting the past, then move right into judging me like you always do." 

"I wasn't talking about the past. I'm talking about your future," she said dully, leaning tiredly against her dresser. 

"Yes. You know everything. Even the future. There's not even the possibility that I'm doing the right thing. And I am, Chloe. You have no idea what I'm dealing with." 

But she did. She knew almost exactly. And he was wrong, so wrong. And there was no way to make him see that. All of this, even her involvement, was tied up in things that weren't hers to share. And she had the sinking feeling that, even if she told him everything right now, that Clark would be just another freak, just another thing for him to subdue and control. Even if he knew that Clark was all that was brave and selfless and almost annoyingly good, Lex was raised to control, raised to truly believe that only he knew what was right. 

"You know, at some point," she said, staring miserably at him as he finished pulling on his clothes, "you'll have to decide if you want to be right or happy. Or maybe you've already decided." 

"Smug's never been a good look for you, Sullivan," he said, sparing her a humorless laugh. "I'm not seeing a life of bliss for you, either." 

She resisted the urge to throw something at his back and just let him move to the door. She was done with histrionics. She swiped angrily at her eyes. She was also done crying, done with beating herself up over letting him in. Of course she had. Lex Luthor could probably come closer than most men to getting everything he wanted. The fact that he loved her, if you could call it love, changed nothing. She'd be something else to control. 

And her? Love. Maybe it wasn't that. Maybe it was just her need to be needed just... leaving her empty again. She'd get over it. Unless he was right. Unless her life was bound to end up as miserable as... 

She shook herself. Maybe she wouldn't be happy right now, but she could get there, couldn't she? She'd thought herself in love before and got herself over it in time. And she wasn't thinking about Jimmy. That was one thing that had changed. That was one thing that ended the minute she touched Lex. She had to end it and for good this time. She couldn't lead him on. Not now. She'd take care of it. Everyone just had to be safe first. And that meant Clark needed to be protected. This wouldn't be the rest of her life. It was just now. Just for now, Clark had to be everything. 

Just for now. 

*********************** 

Lex paced through his halls, wondering what to do now. He felt lost in every way and he didn't think that was an option. Not now. After the absolute high he'd been on a few days ago, he supposed he should have been expecting to come down hard. 

Two teams had been sent to retrieve video footage. Both had disappeared. What the hell did that mean? 

Then there was Chloe. He ran a hand down his chest, then stared at that hand. No bandage now. Not even an injury. And she seriously expected him to just leave her be? 

She wouldn't listen, wouldn't go away. And maybe that was something he shouldn't be thinking of now, with the truth and the Traveler hanging over him, but it weighed him down. He was still keeping Olsen busy, that annoyance of a cousin of hers, too. Maybe he could dig into her life a little more. Something more invasive than just keeping Olsen out of the way. He'd led Olsen to think the DDS was still after her, that his influence was the only thing keeping them from taking her away. All lies, of course. If anyone was to take her away, it would be him. She might be angry at first. But maybe he could make her see. It would be for her own good if... 

He slowed as he moved into his study, seeing a Kent. And not the one he expected. "Kara?" 

"The little V with the stars," she said, sitting in his chair, facing his window, "Something to do with Veritas, right?" 

"I don't know what you're talking about," he said. That was the usual response to Kents invading his home to judge and accuse him. She was with Clark again, after all. 

Kara turned, smiling slightly, which was off-putting. "Why is it that every time I bring up Veritas, people seem to suffer from sudden amnesia?" She stood, staring calmly at him. "A secret society formed to control a powerful alien from another planet?" 

He said nothing as he had nothing to say to that, to her admitting that such a creature existed, yet he also felt strangely nervous. She seemed different somehow. He'd be lying if he hadn't entertained the notion that she was the Traveler. 

"Veritas also means truth." She moved around his desk to face him. "So, what do you say we have some right now?" 

Lex tried to smile. "Look, I don't know who you've been talking to..." 

"I know about the transmissions sent to Virgil Swann, the ones telling him where to find the device to control The Traveler." 

So many things it took him months to uncover and she was just... saying them. "How did you hear about that?" 

Kara stared at the floor, looking almost sheepish before she moved closer to him;. "The Traveler and I... we're from the same planet." 

He felt frozen, unsure what to do with this bald admission, spoken so casually. 

"You don't believe me," she said with another strange smile. 

He wasn't sure. He'd suspected something off about Kara Kent, much like her cousin, for some time. But to have it all come together like this... It seemed too easy. 

He flinched as she stared past him, as her eyes appeared to glow and he felt a sudden flare of warmth at his back. He turned sharply. 

A fire. There hadn't been a fire in his fireplace when he'd come in. There hadn't been one all week as he'd told his staff to stop lighting them in this ungodly heat. He turned back to her, gasping, almost smiling. "The dam," he breathed. "You are the one who saved me." He'd damn well known it, but for her to admit it... "You kept denying it. Why? Why tell me now?" 

Kara gave him another strange smile as she paced away. "You didn't know it then, but I saved you for a reason, Lex." 

He turned to her, afraid to lose sight of her. There was something about her now. Something that put him on edge. 

"It is your destiny to defeat The Traveler. I know you have the device. Now all of the pieces are in place." Her voice was the same as before, sort of sweet and innocent. "Now it's up to you." 

She was handing him answers, even permission. So why did this feel so wrong? "If you really believe I have this thing, why don't you just take it and do it yourself?" 

She turned to face him. "Apparently, the orb was built to protect the human race. So only a human can use it." 

"It showed me a set of coordinates somewhere in the Arctic," he found himself saying. Maybe she did seem different, wrong somehow. But maybe the face she'd presented before was the mask. Maybe this was truly Kara. 

"Directions to his fortress. You need to take it there to control The Traveler." 

"Two of my advance teams, they -- they disappeared trying to get there." 

She stepped forward, taking his hands. "They didn't have a Kryptonian to help them." 

Lex shook his head. "Well, you... You're talking about destroying one of your own kind." 

"I'd always thought The Traveler was meant for good," she said steadily. "Even he thinks he is. When I went home to Krypton, I learned the truth about his fate. He won't save mankind. He'll destroy it." 

It was everything he'd thought. Everything he'd been telling himself. Damn it, he'd been right all along. So why wasn't he smiling? 

You know, at some point, you'll have to decide if you want to be right or happy. 

He shook her words away. Happiness didn't even enter into it. This was more important than that. "Who is it?" he breathed, waiting for that final piece to fall into place. 

Kara smiled slightly. "Don't you already know?" 

He did. Of course he did. He found himself looking away from her, wondering why this hurt. But of course it would. He knew what he had to do. Maybe he'd known all along. 

"His true name is Kal-El. But you know better." She smiled again. "Don't you?" 

He did. But he couldn't, wouldn't, say it aloud. That meant he'd decided what to do. And something about her calm, her smiles, told him not to be hasty.

*************** 

Chloe moved hurriedly up the Kent's drive. Clark had, of course, sped off after saying something ominous. 

"She's going after Lex," he'd said, then just left her at Isis. 

She, being Kara, who'd apparently crashed Edward Teague's jet after learning Lex had the device. She supposed Clark had gone to stop her. All she really had was supposition since Clark had this habit of running off on her. And, even as she took the freeways at break-neck speed, this was... just for Clark. Maybe even for Kara. She didn't know if guilt was a genetic trait in the El family, but she didn't want Lex hurt for their sake. That was all. 

Either way, Clark was actually there when she opened the door, bent over and brooding. So things couldn't be so bad as that was no different from the average Thursday. "Hey." Or they could be bad, considering he was brooding over a lead box, which usually meant one thing. "Whoa. Breaking out the heavy artillery. It's not every day that you see Clark Kent clutching a box of kryptonite." 

"It's the only way to stop her." 

Then Kara had crashed Teague's plane. "So, I'm guessing face time with Kara didn't go so well." 

Clark stood and moved to the window. "Kara's convinced that someone will try to use me as a weapon," he said dully. "She thinks I'm not doing enough to stop it." He turned back to Chloe. "What if she's right?" 

"Clark, Kara's a lot of things -- reckless, headstrong, possibly psychotic." These days, at least. "But she's wrong about you. You've done everything you can to stop Veritas and more. You know that." 

Clark moved to pick up the box again. "Obviously she doesn't." He turned to her. "Chloe, you're the only one who can help me." 

Chloe stepped slowly toward him, taking the box. No more confusion. No more slipping. Clark was the priority. The only priority. "I'm always here for you, Clark." 

"Look, you... you won't be doing it alone," he said, looking pained. It was his cousin they were about to take down with poison rocks, after all. But what choice did they have? She'd obviously gone off the rails. "We'll get her here together, and I'll stand right by your side." 

She shook her head. "Clark, if we're gonna wield this kind of weaponry, don't shoot yourself in the foot. This little green rock will knock down every Kryptonian in the room. You can't be around when we lift the lid. Let me do this." 

She gripped the box and paced away. "I'll get her to the Talon. I'll subdue her and... when this is over, we can figure out what's next." 

"But what if she..." 

"I'll have this on me, Clark." She nodded to herself. "She can't hurt me then, right?" 

*********************** 

Everything was going right. So why didn't it feel that way? He stared at the device. Kara had said only he could wield it. Kara had said she would guide him there. Kara... she'd said so much. Sometimes it felt like too much, after all these months where he was convinced she was about as open and honest as Clark. So why the change? That was what kept tugging at him. Why would she be so eager for him to destroy... 

He hadn't said the name aloud yet. Had barely let himself think it. Yet he knew. He knew exactly who he'd find at this fortress she spoke of. 

He shut the device into his case. No clothes. Just this. He half wondered why he hadn't packed at least some toiletries. The arctic circle wasn't just across the border, after all. 

But maybe that was something else he knew, something he felt deep down all these months. That everything he did was the last. That he wouldn't be coming back. 

"Your jet's fueled and waiting, sir." 

He looked up, shook the feeling away, surprised to see Olsen coming in behind Regan. "Tell them one more passenger is coming." 

Jimmy moved forward as Regan stepped out, looking confused. "Uh, where are we going?" 

"You're not going anywhere, Jimmy," he said, almost amused at him. Jimmy must think himself very important with all the extra attention lately. But, really, Sullivan was the only reason for that. 

"Look, I know that you're busy, Lex," Jimmy went on in his stilted, awkward way. "I just wanted you to know that I did what you told me to do. Lois thinks that you're all about the oil up north now." 

"Well done," he said, moving past him. He didn't exactly have time for these side projects now. Except maybe... 

"So, I guess wax on, wax off," Jimmy said following him. "We're even now, right?" 

"I believe our arrangement has just begun. I want regular reports on Miss Lane's activities," he said, almost waiting for the answer. 

"Hey, I did what you said. I shouldn't have to spy for you, too. That's not fair," Jimmy sputtered, sounding indignant as Lex expected. 

"Life is rarely fair, Jimmy," he said casually, waiting for that outright refusal. 

Jimmy stepped in front of him. "Look, Lex, I would really like to help, but lying, it's just, uh, you know, it's not my thing. I mean, I-it's eating me up. It actually --it's making my stomach hurt." 

"Well, it' never too late to learn a new skill," he said, starting past him, waiting for more... 

"Look -- I'm sorry, I just -- I can't do it. But trust me, I'm not gonna say a single word to anyone about your... oil drilling. Please, you got to understand. I can't spy on my friend." 

He smiled. That was good enough. It would make what happened next, what he knew he had to do next, seem perfectly clear to Jimmy. He clapped a hand on his shoulder. "I respect your integrity, Jimmy. It took a lot to come here and lay your cards on the table." 

"Uh... Thanks." 

"Now, if you'll step aside, I have a plane to catch." 

"You bet," he said, finally out of his way. "Have a great trip, Lex." 

Somehow, he doubted he would. Nothing about his trip would be pleasant. But he found himself smiling, relieved about one thing. No one would question it when she was taken now. Jimmy would spread it around, say it was the DDS and no one would dare to look much further... at least not for a while if they thought Chloe was being held by the government. 

It would give him enough time. To hold her until he came back. If he came back... He shook the dark thought away and tried to think positively. He'd take care of the Traveler, then he'd find her. 

He took Regan aside before he moved out the door to his waiting helicopter. "I need you to gather some men and send them to the Talon. DDS if anyone asks. Send them to arrest Chloe Sullivan." 

Regan nodded, even smiled. "Of course, Sir. We can her put into Black Creek with the others to find exactly what her..." 

"No. Not in holding. She doesn't... That's not where I want her." And he wouldn't tell Regan what she was. Hell, he might bleed her dry to gain some kind of leg up in pharmaceuticals. He knew ambition when he saw it. 

"She's been in league with The Traveler all along. You said as much." 

Had he? He'd said a lot, maybe too much in many hazes full of pills and booze. "Regardless, she'll be put in my quarters. Under heavy guard, but not in a holding cell." 

"But with the ways she's interfered..." 

"And this is not your call," he said tightly, gesturing to the helicopter. "I will decide what to do with her when I return. Just tell the men to collect her and make sure everything's ready." 

He pulled out his cell as Regan, Fucking Regan, reluctantly moved away. There was one more person that needed to be removed from the danger zone. She was caught up in this, too, had even been made a vegetable by her association with... Why was it still so hard to even think his name? 

He didn't want to be concerned about Lana after all she'd done to him, but she was in this state because of her questionable alliances, just like Chloe. He'd have to get her out of the way, too. Maybe Chloe would appreciate that once she understood why he'd done it. She might even be glad for the company. Not that Lana was exactly company these days. 

Mercer. He needed a woman's touch for this, one with experience moving patients. It also didn't hurt that, should Mercer take charge rather than Regan, he could be sure things were done his way. She'd be his eyes and ears, after all. 

He spared Regan a wary glance and dialed Tess Mercer. He'd let Regan go when they were back. Maybe be as generous as possible with his severance as he didn't look like a man that would go quietly. He'd done his job well enough, after all. But Regan Matthews had too many of his own ideas about how to run things. 

"Luthorcorp Virus research, Mercer speaking." 

"It's a downright shame that a woman of your talents is still slaving away in a labcoat," he said, trying to sound easy and pleasant. It wouldn't do to put her on edge. She'd be nervous enough when she found out just how much work was in store for her. "I think it's about time for a promotion, don't you?" 

"Mr. Luthor," she breathed. He had to admit, it was gratifying, the near-worship always present in her voice. It reminded him of Gina. He wondered if she also shared Gina's blind loyalty. 

"I need you to do something for me." 

"Anything," she said without hesitation. "Well, unless it involves pollen samples. Sick to death of that. Or maybe I've lost my sense of adventure." 

He chuckled. There was something about her dry delivery. It made him think of... Well, himself. "I don't know if say that so quickly. It's not technically legal." 

"I see," she said, only pausing a moment. "Luckily for you, I've never been one to tattle. And I'm sure there's a very good reason." 

He smiled. There'd be time to tell her everything later. He couldn't tell her about Black Creek just yet. She might not understand. He'd tell her after, make sure Lana was with Chloe after. "I need you to transport a patient from St. Laurence Convalescent Home. Listen very carefully..." 

CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT