Restless Nights (Chapter Five)

Banner by Bkwurm1

PREVIOUS CHAPTER

So sorry it took so long to get back here. It’s just hard to find time to write.

By the way, I’m still checking off my patron’s requests. As of that last chapter…

Most of the actions of Season 8 Lex were of a clone? Check.

Tess and Lex team up? Check.

Watchtower replaced with a revamped Isis? Check.

Lois is gone with the ring? Taking care of it…

Chapter Five

And time for all the works and days of hands
That lift and drop a question on your plate;
Time for you and time for me…

“In the future?” Chloe repeated. She wasn’t sure how many times she’d said it by now. Maybe as many as it took to sink in. “Lois is… living in the future.”

“That’s the only possibility,” Clark said tiredly as Chloe rewound the footage again. They were in the media bay. Victor had managed to hack The Daily Planet’s security feed. She’d seen it a few times now. Lois hits Tess with box, Tess falls to floor, Lois falls to floor, box spills out a ring, Lois picks up ring… no more Lois.

Chloe pushed away, shaking her head. “How do you get that from this?”

Clark leaned over her and hit pause. “Chloe, that ring was programmed by Rokk to send the Beast to the Legion. He wanted me to force it on Davis and send him there so they could destroy the beast.”

Oliver spoke up. “Some of us still happen to think that was a good idea and we should have been told about it.”

“And I happened to think,” Clark began tightly, “that pawning my problems off on the future was irresponsible and we don’t even know if they had the capability to…”

“Dude, will you guys stop?” Bart cut in. “It’s over. Get over it. Everything’s fine. Jeez!”

Chloe shook her head and turned her wheelchair to face the rest of them. “How is everything fine? Lois is missing and none of you seem to know where Davis is, either.”

Clark seemed to look hard at the rest of them. “If Lois went to Rokk and the Legion, then she’s safe. We might not know more than that, but we know that.”

Chloe swiped at her eyes. “How do you know for sure?”

Clark sat on his haunches in front of her, speaking softly. “I have an inkling. Relations between the future and… well, here, are kind of few and far between. But I found a communication from Rokk that’s… telling.” He turned her around and leaned over her, pulling up an image… from the cave walls, of all places.

Received your visitor. Was not expected. Asks lots of questions. As world is still intact, assume things went well. – R.

“That was never there,” Clark explained. “I’ve studied those caves for years. Rokk is trying to tell us Lois is with them.” She felt his hand on her shoulder. 

“So she’s okay?” Chloe said with a sniff, turning towards him. 

“She has to be.”

“But can’t they just send her back?”

“I don’t know how it works.” He turned her chair around and she immediately missed the weight of his hand on her shoulder. “But I know that, if Rokk had to comment on curiosity, that visitor has to be someone related to you.”

She pushed lightly at him, feeling a smile in spite of everything, then wiped her eyes again. Had she always been so ready to cry?

Emil stepped forward. “I think that’s enough for today. Chloe, it’s past seven. You should rest if…”

”That’s not enough. Not nearly enough. I’m fine.” She swiped rather impatiently at her cheeks. “How did Davis escape? What about the beast? You said Jimmy is healing. Healing from wha…” She stopped. She could almost feel the blood draining from her face. “Jimmy's hand,” she gasped. “I saw it. I held it in mine and the blood... Oh, God!”

Dinah clapped her hands. “Okay! I’m thinking a nap. Are you thinking a nap? Let’s both have one. Just a little one, then…”

“No. Please!” Chloe clutched at Clark’s jacket, but he moved away. “You said Jimmy was safe. Please tell me you aren’t just…”

“Jimmy is perfectly safe,” Oliver said, stepping into the space Clark left. “He’s had the best care. I’ve seen to it personally… and financially. He’s at an amazing facility and you don’t need to worry about him.”

But she needed to see him. Needed to see for herself.

“As for the Beast,” Oliver went on, “it’s… not likely to show up anytime soon as we took advantage of some contacts of mine and used..."

Bart jumped in. "We shot the f*cker into space!"

"Bart..."

"What? It's cool. None of you guys say it right. You don't even appreciate how cool it is!"

"I do, Bart," Dinah said with a wink before turning to Chloe. "Oliver has contacts in Russia who were on a Mars mission,” Dinah added. 

Chloe blinked. “Russia?”

Oliver shrugged. “We’d have gone through NASA, but we were afraid a certain bony monster would wake up before the red tape cleared. I’m nothing if not patriotic, but there’s way too much paperwork over here. John Jones was sent with it as he was also hoping to hitch a ride to his home planet.”

“So John could have his powers back by now?”

“We have heard from our Russian friends, but not from Jones yet,” Oliver said.

“He’ll contact us when he’s back,” Clark said impatiently. “But Emil’s right. You’ve heard enough and you need to rest…”

“I’ve been resting for three months,” Chloe grunted, pushing herself to stand, giving the wheelchair a little kick, even with her jellified legs. She turned to Oliver. “This facility Jimmy’s in… Can he have visitors?”

Oliver checked his watch. “For about two more hours.”

“Well?”

He sighed and said, “I’ll give you a lift,” before moving out.

She turned to Dinah, gripping her arm. “Do I have any clothes that aren’t hospital gowns?”

“I did pack up some of your…”

“Good. Get them. Please? I’ll meet you in the room.” She took a few shaky steps, satisfied when she was able to stay upright as Dinah rushed off. She’d missed enough. She’d make up for lost time. Make up with Jimmy, after all he’d lost. She had to. She’d help him through this and…

“Chloe, I urge you to rethink,” Emil said, taking her by the elbow as she slowly picked her way to the door. “This has been a traumatic day and you need…”

“Doctor Hamilton, I told you before that I’ve rested enough,” she said firmly. “Three months! I’ll go insane if you send me back to that bed right now. I want to use what’s left of this night to start… living again,” she finished with a satisfied smile as she made it to the door jamb.

He nodded and released her. “Fair enough. Then… perhaps you can squeeze a session with me into this day?”

“A session?” She let out a breath of laughter. “Are you a therapist now?”

“Not at all. I just… There’s something important…” He stopped and took a very deep breath before going on. “Chloe, there’s something we need to speak about. Privately,” he added gravely.

She peered closely at him. “You sound so serious.”

“Do I?” He suddenly smiled. “I don’t mean to. I just think we need to have a private chat about… certain things and adjusting to… new situations.”

She sighed. “My powers came back. I know. It was a surprise to me, too, but…”

“Exactly,” he said quickly. “That’s exactly the kind of thing we need to discuss. Alone,” he added, rather intensely.

“Okay!” Dinah rushed up to her. “Are we thinking business casual or comfort?”

“Uh…” Chloe was still staring at Emil. 

“We’ll talk later,” he said, moving off, leaving her with Dinah, who was pulling her away.

“Wait…” She turned to say goodbye to Bart, Victor, and Clark. But Bart and Victor seemed to have already turned that video feed into a video game. 

“First to kill a hundred zombies wins,” Bart called out.

“That’s not even the point,” Victor droned. 

“That’s one!”

“It’s staying alive to solve the…”

“That’s two!”

“Cheater!” Victor growled, picking up his controller.

Some things never changed. Chloe chuckled and turned to see what Clark thought of all this. But Clark was nowhere to be found. 

“Hello?" Dinah snapped her fingers. "If we’re thinking business casual, then I’ve got some skirts that…”

“Comfort. Let’s go for comfort,” she said, letting Dinah pull her down the hall. She might not know much right now, but she knew she’d put on a few. By the time she’d discarded three pairs of jeans and two dress slacks, she was positive. “Seriously, what is in those feeding tubes? I feel like a cow.”

“Oh, don’t be so hard on yourself,” Dinah chirped, tossing her some sweatpants. “It’s not like you’ve been watching TV and eating bonbons. You have been in a coma. Anyway, we’ll get in some workouts. I can train you,” she said with a slight gasp. “I’ve always thought personal trainer was my second calling. And now I get to mold you. I will,” she said earnestly, “change your life.”

“Yay,” Chloe said, feeling just a little scared, and not just because of how gung-ho Dinah seemed, but because she hated exercising for the sake of exercising. Absolutely loathed it. But maybe she’d have to learn to tolerate it. Even her sweatpants felt snug. “Anyway, this works for today. As long as I see him.”

Dinah perched on the side of the sofa. “So I know I’m a little further along in our confidante status than you are, but do you mind me asking a personal question?”

Chloe poked her head out of a t-shirt. "Yes. I mean… No. I don't mind. Go on.”

“Why the big hurry? Jimmy will still be there tomorrow.”

“I just need to see him now. I don’t want him to find out I’m awake from Oliver or anyone else and… Well, he needs to know.”

“Know what?”

“That I’m here for him,” she said firmly. “That we’ll work this out together. You know, I bet Victor knows more than most scientists about artificial limb technology and if Jimmy needs…”

“I just have to stop you there,” Dinah cut in. “You want to work this out together? Does this mean that… I mean, you want to start things up with him again?”

She hadn’t exactly thought that far ahead. But maybe she should be. And maybe they would. Maybe they’d still be together now if she’d been more honest with Jimmy. And maybe he wouldn’t be short a hand. “Maybe I will. Maybe that’s what he needs.”

Dinah stood and moved to the window. “Oliver’s pulling up. I’ll tell him to you’ll be right down.” 

“Great!” Chloe sifted through the clothes on the bed for a jacket. “I’m almost ready. Just need to freshen up a little and…”

“Oh. Toiletries in the red bag,” Dinah said, picking it up and tossing it to the bed. 

“Thanks so much. I won’t be long.”

Dinah moved to the door, then stopped, turned around. “Just make sure that, somewhere in all this, you’re maybe... thinking of what you need. Okay?” Then she was gone.

Chloe shook her head and pulled on a jacket. She didn’t need anything. She was healthy. Her assorted heroes were safe. Lois was safe, or as safe as someone could be a thousand years in the future. It was Jimmy who needed things, needed her. And she wouldn’t fail him again.

**********

“Stop staring at it.”

Chloe’s eyes snapped to Jimmy’s, taken aback. “I’m sorry.” They were in St. Lawrence’s empty rec room. It was actually a beautiful place. She didn’t have to see it in daylight to know that. She’d been here before, briefly, when Lana had been here, blank-eyed and without much hope for recovery. Jimmy was in a different wing, filled with people in recovery, learning to walk again or, in his case, adjust to life with… a little less. “So you’ve been taking pictures?”

He shrugged. “Just the grounds. Things that stay still. Obviously, I won’t be taking action shots anymore. I guess scenic photography’s all I got left.”

Chloe shook her head. “That’s not true. You know Victor, right?” She leaned in to whisper. “Almost half of his body is robotic and, if we work with him to develop something for your…”

“No, thanks.”

“What? Jimmy, you could have a whole new…”

“No. Thanks,” he said again, rather loudly.

“But…”

“Chloe, I’m not looking for robot parts or any kind of deeper involvement with your hero friends. It’s not… It’s your world, not mine,” he finished quietly, staring at the table.

“Okay,” she breathed, trying to think of what the plan was now. She’d spent the whole ride over with Oliver talking about cybernetic hands as well as Jimmy coming to stay at Isis while Victor tested models and trained him for using them. It had all seemed so clear. And now he’d shot both down. “I know the hero world takes some getting used to.” She smiled. “But you know Oliver pretty well and…”

“Yeah. And he’s great,” Jimmy cut in. “And I’m grateful to him for setting this up. I mean, the guy’s saved me twice now and Clark’s probably saved me more times than I know and… I’m not trying to put them down. But I’m also not going to be a part of that world. Don’t get me wrong, it looks pretty cool from the outside, but I only spent a few hours in it. And look what happened.” He pulled his right hand over the stump that used to hold his left. “I’m not built for it.”

Chloe nodded, trying to find a new plan. “Okay. Then we… You know, I could take a step back, too. I’ve got recovery ahead and we can just stay at The Talon and…”

“No, thanks.” 

She shook her head. “You keep saying that.”

“Because I’ve been rehearsing it,” Jimmy said, finally meeting her eyes. “I knew this would happen, Chloe. I also knew that I wouldn’t let it happen.”

“Let what happen? I’m just trying to.”

“It was a mistake, Chloe. And it’s not one I’m going to make again. Hell, our wedding was even…” He huffed loudly. “A destructive beast actually rampaged through it. If that's not a sign, then I don't know what is.”

“Don’t say that.” She gripped his good hand. “Jimmy, I'm willing to...”

“To what? Take a step back from your hero friends? Hole up in The Talon with me? Get remarried? Be with me out of guilt? I don't want that and I don't want this world and I don’t want you!”

Chloe drew back, her eyes stinging.

Jimmy squeezed his eyes shut. “I’m sorry. I’m saying this wrong. I…” He met her eyes. “Considering you've been dead for a summer, the last thing I want to do is try to make you feel like crap. But, Chloe, I don’t want you. Not like this. If I stay, we'd just coming back to the same problem. I don't come first. I never really have.”

“Because I never put you first,” she said softly. “And I realize that now. I can change and…”

“The worst part is I know I shouldn’t come first,” he cut in. “I know what you’ve been dealing with now, all this time.” He laughed, kind of humorlessly. “I felt better when I found out, you know, that all that stuff with Davis was for Clark, then I had to think. I’ve had lots of time to think. Why should that make me feel better? For the last three years, we keep running into the same problem.”

“But now you know everything, so…”

“Yes. Because I found out. You’d never have told me.”

She couldn’t deny it. “It wasn’t mine to tell. But you’re in on this now. We have no secrets and I can help you adjust and…”

“And would you be saying any of this if I still had a hand?” 

She stared at him. She wanted to answer with a yes. But she wasn’t sure she could.

“Chloe, I’m not bitter. I’m really not. I’m also not going to be in a relationship where you're only there because you think you should be and where… Well, someone else always comes first. And I know who. That letter…”

“Jimmy, we talked about that. That was a teenage crush. Clark and I have long since moved past it and I told you, then, that I loved you.”

“Yes. You did. You said it a lot. But actions speak louder.” He sighed. “I'm not even sure if I really wanted you or just... who I thought you were. I think I loved this idea, this package. You know, insanely smart and pretty and somehow into me and I kept wondering what the catch was. I think I obsessed about that catch. And I finally found it.” He shrugged. “Why did you marry me at all?”

“Because I loved you,” she said dully.

“Not enough or… not in the right way or you would have told me things at some point, even lied better. You can't bring someone into your life halfway. Jesus, Chloe.” He ran a hand over his eyes tiredly. “I even get it. That’s the hardest part. I’ve had all summer to think about it and… I keep coming up with the same answer. This never worked and it never will.”

“But… Jimmy, I did love you,” she finally finished, the fight draining out of her.

“Same here. But it wasn’t enough.” He smiled sadly. “Hey, we married at twenty-two. If anything, we can just join a long line of stupid kids who didn't think it through. And…” He actually took her hand. “You don’t owe me anything, Chloe. Hell, I screwed things up, too. My rock bottom was stealing money from your apartment. But I guess that was a good thing. Oliver caught me and he helped me clean up my act. He’s done a lot for me.” He chuckled. “Including summer vacay in this swanky place.”

Chloe tried to smile. But she just couldn’t. Maybe everything he was saying was true, but it still stung.

“He’s even set me up with a job.” He shrugged. “Queen Industries’ Oklahoma City branch needs a visual marketing director for their electronics division. Henry James Olsen will be filling the position.”

She stared at him, dazed. “Henry James, Oklahoma,” she breathed. “I was kind of taken aback when I signed in here. I thought you didn’t want to go by that name. With your father…”

“Well, it’s been a long summer. Henry Senior and I… we’ve talked. We think we could be a family again, make up for lost time. He’s changed.”

“That’s… I don’t know what to say to that.” He’d told her all about his father the night of their rather harrowing engagement party. How he’d treated him, treated his mother, how she left. She could understand why he’d lied, built a different life for himself, refused to call himself by his father’s name. He’d only stayed till he was eighteen, then he helped his grandparents get custody of little James and he never looked back.

She’d thought, at the time, that it meant they were right for each other. She knew something about growing up a motherless latchkey kid, though never abused. If anything, her father had been indifferent in the end, not even showing up for their wedding. She’d thought of them as orphans who found each other. She told him that, though she didn’t tell him anything else, even after she promised they wouldn’t keep secrets anymore.

God! He was right. She’d never let him in, not even after he told her every last secret he had. She shook her head. “Jimmy…”

“It’s actually Henry. I should get used to it again as that’s the only way they know me back home.”

“Henry… God, that feels weird,” she breathed. “Are you sure this is good for you?”

“It’s not just about me. And it’s not just about my dad, either. But he’s been sober a year. He got custody of Jimmy back from my grandparents. And I need to be there to make sure he doesn't screw up both his kids. And, obviously, I’ll need help too.” He held up his left arm. “Opening jars and all...”

“You’re not screwed up,” she said with a sniff. “You’re… you were always the sweetest guy I knew.”

He laughed. “It’s not like I’m dying, Chlo. There’s always email, facebook, twitter, handless helper forums…”

She let out a watery laugh. “How are you so okay about this?”

“Yeah. You’re kind of a wreck. It’s almost like you’ve come out of a coma or something.” He smiled.

She swiped at her eyes. “I’ve been crying and fainting all day. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

“Well, you’ve had less time to think about things than I have. I get it. I just need you to know…” He squeezed her hand. “I don't blame you and I don't blame Clark.”

Her head snapped up. “Clark… Jimmy, for the millionth time, there’s nothing between me and…”

“Yeah. I know.” He sighed. “Nothing between you. Best friends. Just like family.” He chuckled, then his eyes grew serious. “Maybe if you say it enough, it’ll make it true.”

******************

“…and, as soon as you’re up to it, you can go back to active watchtowering. With hazard pay, of course. I am nothing if not a fair employer,” Oliver was saying. “We’ll go over the new equipment, servers, bouncy castles, clowns…”

Chloe turned to Oliver. “Huh?”

“I knew you weren’t listening.”

“I’m sorry,” she groaned, leaning her head on the window, watching the darkened farm land slowly morph into factories. “Just thinking about Jimmy. Or… Henry.”

“Yeah. I figured you’d need some time to adjust.”

“You knew what he was going to say?”

“I did.”

“Well, you could have prepared me a little.”

“It wasn’t my place.” He nudged her with his elbow as he shifted gears. “Chloe, did you really want to spend the rest of your life making this up to him?”

“I was prepared to,” she realized. “But maybe he was right. About some things.” Not all things. Not about her and Clark. He didn’t exactly say the words, but she knew Jimmy thought his absence meant she was rushing into Clark’s arms. And he couldn’t be more wrong. 

They’d changed the subject. When visiting hours were over, they’d said goodbye, promised to keep up. It all ended pleasantly, she supposed, but she was still bothered. She couldn’t stop thinking of what he’d said. She turned to Oliver. “He thinks there’s something between me and Clark.”

Oliver kept his eyes on the road. 

“Why does he always think that?”

“No comment.”

“Oliver! Did you say something to him?”

“No. I didn’t have to.”

“But there’s nothing…”

“I’m staying out of this.”

“Out of what? There’s nothing to stay out of,” she said, exasperated. 

“Exactly.”

She huffed and stared out the window. They were near the city now.

“But you know what?” Oliver suddenly burst out. “You skip out on your whole life to save him, then pretty much die, he sleeps in a chair by your bed for three months, hunts you like a hound, and let’s not even mention how many times he put your life before everything else, but… You’re right. There’s nothing.”

“Well, there isn’t.” She shook her head. She knew he’d put her first a lot, even fairly recently, considering the Brainiac fiasco. She’d do the same. It’s what friends do. She also knew he’d been chasing her down, since he’d warned her about it when she foolishly called him on the road with Davis. But… “Clark slept in a chair?” She wasn’t sure why that, of all things, would bother her. She’d seen his jacket on her bed, but she’d thought it was just left around, like everyone else’s scattered belongings.

“It’s no big deal. That’s what Clark said.”

“Well, yeah. I guess it wasn’t, for him, super strength probably means you can… sleep anywhere,” she said, slightly dazed.

“But there’s a perfectly good couch in there. He just kept thinking he’d miss it when you woke.” Oliver laughed. “Which he did. Hilarious. Anyway, I’m staying out of it.”

“Because there’s nothing to stay out of,” she repeated.

“Exactly.”

“Have you always been this annoying?”

Oliver chuckled and glanced sideways at her. “You and me have never minced words, Chloe. It’s one of the things I like about us.” He turned his attention back to the freeway as he pulled onto the exit ramp. “Sure, that’s given us some ups and downs, but it also keeps us honest. So I’m staying out of it.” He shrugged. “Because I don’t think you’re ready to hear my honest opinion.”

“But…”

“Staying out of it.”

“There’s nothing…”

“Oh, look! We’re here!” He pulled in front of Isis. “I’ll just drop you here. My lot’s a block away.” He ran a hand across his dash. “Don’t like to park the Jag on this street. I’ve gone through three hood ornaments already, so… Door code is five-one-four-zero-nine.”

“Five-one-four-zero-nine,” she repeatedly dumbly as she opened the door. “But…”

“Emil’s been waiting for you in his office. Second floor. Third door. Used to be insurance, I think. Door, please.”

“Oh, sorry.” She shut it, staring after him as he drove away. “Wait a minute.” She took a few steps, but he was gone. “This isn’t over,” she muttered. First Jimmy, now Oliver and, she also suspected, Dinah were treating her and Clark as some kind of foregone conclusion. And it was ridiculous! She had to set them straight. But she had to talk to Emil first. He was waiting for her, after all. 

She punched in the code and moved to the elevator, barely seeing. There was so much to think about. They had to discuss her power. Oliver seemed to think she should go right back to “watchtowering,” as he put it. But she had other ideas. They were barely formed, but they were there. With her power, she should be on mission, provide on-site healing if needed, get fight training in case…

She took a deep breath as the elevator stopped with a muted ding. One thing at a time. First, she had to feel Emil out, then she could convince the others. It might not be easy. Clark would be the hardest to… 

“Clark!” She stopped, a hand going her chest, finding him pacing all over what had been Metro Insurance. “You startled me.”

“Sorry.”

“Uh… No. It’s totally… It’s fine,” she mumbled, her eyes landing on the floor. It was the stupidest thing, but she was finding it hard to look at him. 

…he sleeps in a chair by your bed for three months…

“I was just expecting Emil.” She shook it off, forcing herself to meet his eyes – except he wasn’t meeting hers.

“He had to check in at Met Gen,” Clark muttered. “I just…” His eyes briefly touched on hers. “I figured I’d wait for you. Because I know what you’re thinking and… we need to talk first.”

Her eyes widened. “What do you mean by that? There’s nothing to talk about. Nothing’s going on,” she said in a rush. “I mean, the chair thing… It’s not like there’s anything going on.” She gestured to him widely. “Look who I’m telling. I mean, you know that. It’s just the rest of them that… you know…” She trailed off.

Clark finally looked at her. “What are you talking about?”

“The…” She crossed her arms, trying to still her hands. “What are you talking about?”

“Your abilities.”

“I knew it,” she sighed, moving to a sofa and sinking into it. “Clark, I just woke up today. I haven’t made a decision yet. But…”

“Yes. Then we’re agreed. This is no time to even think about it.”

“I didn’t say that,” she clarified, folding her hands in her lap. “Clark, I know you’ve never been behind me using my powers…”

“Because look what happens! Chloe, you died!”

“But I came back!” She stood. “Clark, I came back every time!”

“So what does that mean? Is that going to be your life now? Are you going to haunt the hospitals and…”

“I haven’t thought that far ahead. I was thinking more like… help the team. Be on mission, have a code name and…”

“And die over and over,” he said hoarsely, rushing to her, gripping her arms. “And I have to wait, wondering if, this time, it sticks?”

Her eyes softened. “Clark…”

“It’s been three times, Chloe,” he said lowly. ”And it doesn’t get easier, sitting there, watching you, resisting looking right through your skin because I know I don’t have the right…”

“Clark…”

“And I know, even saying this… I know I don’t have the right to tell you what to do with your life. But it’s… Chloe, don’t throw it away.”

“I don’t see it that way.”

“That’s all I can see. What are you going to do? Call yourself The Phoenix or…”

“I was kind of mulling over Nightingale. It’s kind of poetic, like Florence…”

“Oh, my God!” He released her and paced away. 

She didn’t let him, gripping his jacket. His red jacket. Not the blue one that she’d found tangled in her bed. The bed he slept near for three months. “I know you were worried,” she whispered.

He laughed hollowly. “That’s kind of an understatement.”

“Oliver told me you… pretty much stayed there every night.” She smiled, pulling him to face her. “Sleeping in a chair, apparently.”

“Well, it’s not like I get stiff necks or anything. It was no big deal. Also, it was only a few hours. I had to go to the farm early and make sure the animals got fed and…”

“Thank you,” she cut in, winding her arms around his chest. 

It took a moment, but she felt him relax against her, hands moving to her back lightly. “For what?”

“Being there,” she whispered, settling her head against his chest, breathing in his familiar smell… hay and wind and plain soap. 

“I’ll always be there.”

She held on tight and finally felt him squeeze her back. It had been so long. She actually had to think to remember the last time he’d held her like this, exactly like this, her head tucked under his chin, his hands splayed on her back. It was always, without fail, the safest she ever felt and she couldn’t even remember the last time.

No. She did. It had been that night he’d pulled Jimmy’s plastic ring from his pocket, almost a year ago now…

“When Jimmy and I get married, things will probably change -- between us, I mean.” 

And they had. That was the last time they hugged as if they’d never let go. He’d told her that her happiness was the most important thing in the world, that she’d have a wonderful life with Jimmy, not to worry about anything else. 

But she had been worried, so she’d held on tight, wanting to feel safe with him just one last time before everything changed. It was supposed to be the last time. Right now, she was glad it wasn’t. But that didn’t make it any easier to let go.

But she did, mostly because Clark pulled away after giving her a sudden and awkward pat on the head… which was fine. She cleared her throat and gave him a smile. They really should cool it on the hugging action. This was exactly the kind of behavior that had people seeing things that weren’t there. Ridiculous, imaginary…

“So how’s Jimmy?” Clark asked, rather loudly.

“Uh… You know, he was better than I thought.” She moved to the couch and forced herself to sit. “I mean, I guess it has been a few months. It was still weird to hear him joke about the…” She held up her hand. “But he seems good, taking scenic pictures and…”

“Oh, yeah. I know. I visited him last week and all. I was just…” Clark was pacing again. “You know, he said he was going to move to Oklahoma. I figured you’d talk him right out of that.”

He was making her dizzy. “Why would I do that?”

“Well, if you two want to make it work.”

“I don’t think that’s going to happen. Could you stop?” She put a hand to her stomach.

He stilled. “What?”

“The pacing. Maybe don’t start that again. I don’t know if someone could be starving and nauseated all at once, but I’m kind of…”

“It’s not going to happen?”

“Oh. Well…” She took a deep breath. “Jimmy’s moving to Oklahoma and we’re kind of already divorced and… I mean, it was already over."

"And you're okay with that?"

"I... I am," she said, surprised that she was. She hadn't had time to decide, between Jimmy blindsiding her and the anger with Oliver for not warning her about it, she'd barely had time to think how she felt. "I feel like I shouldn't be, but... I am."

Clark met her eyes, then, held them for longer than he had since she'd woken up. "Uh... You were so worried about him. I thought you might want to... start things up again."

"I did a few hours ago." She shook her head, bleary with how things had changed so quickly. "I mean, he rejected me and... Should I be more upset or something?" She met Clark's steady gaze.

"Not if you aren't," he said, sounding strangely breathless.

"It wasn’t like I had my heart set on starting things up again. But… I thought that’s what would happen. Like us being together would make things up to him.” She rolled her eyes and sat back. “It sounds so stupid when I say it out loud.”

“Yeah. It kinda does.”

“Gee, thanks,” she droned as he took a seat next to her.

“I don’t mean it like…” He turned to her. “Guilt is no reason to be with someone. It doesn’t work. I feel like it took me forever to figure that out.”

“How were you ever with someone out of…”

“Lana,” he broke in. “I kept thinking the reason we never worked was because we never got a fair shot, but it was because we were never… We weren’t together for the right reasons. Sometimes I think, deep down, I always tried so hard to make it work because I thought being with her would make up for what she lost… because of me.”

Chloe sat up, turning more fully to him. “Her parents? Clark, how many times…”

“I know. It was beyond my control. But it was always there, underneath everything.” He shrugged. “It never worked.”

“Some grown-ups we are,” she muttered. “What the hell does make it work? Obviously not marrying barely out of your teens…”

“Or breaking up a million times,” he grunted.

“Hey!”

“I was talking about me.”

“Oh, yeah.” She found herself laughing. 

He did, too. “Or kidnapping someone from her engagement party.”

“Or getting kidnapped from your own.” She laughed harder. “I even got kidnapped from my wedding!"

He let out a loud laugh. "Maybe it was a hint or..." He shook his head. "I can't even talk, with how my love life's gone."

"Maybe we’re kind of messed up,” she said, sobering.

“Well, I guess that’s why we’re friends.” He reached for her hand. “I mean, if anyone can put up with us, it’s…”

“Us,” she finished, smiling.

He smiled, too. She waited for him to let go of her hand. He didn’t. “I’m trying to remember…” He stopped, shaking his head.

“What?”

“Just… I’m trying to remember the last time we were like this. I feel like, all year, everything between us has been so tense.”

“Well, with all that happened…” She squeezed his hand back. “Clark, with all I did… So many awful…”

“Don’t. We’ve both messed up this year. You weren’t the only one who made some… truly horrible decisions.”

“You don’t even know how many.”

“Neither do you.”

“I need to tell you…”

“You don’t,” he said firmly. “Chloe, last year was the darkest time of my life and that’s saying a lot. I don’t want to rehash or relive it. Can’t we just move on?”

She stared at him. He’d been so strange today, avoiding her eyes, avoiding her. She’d thought they were building up to having it out, not this. “Do you think we can?” she asked softly.

“I promised myself I’d try.” He stared at their hands. “The night you left, I swore that, if I ever found you, I wouldn’t let us be that way again. Then I swore it again, after Eva Greer, that if I ever found you for real…”

“For real?” She tried to catch his eyes. “Who’s Eva Greer?”

“I keep forgetting all you don’t know.” He rubbed his thumb rather absently over her palm. “She was Tess’ assistant. But she looked a whole lot like you for a few days there. Even fooled me. Maybe because I wanted to believe…” He finally met her eyes. “That’s not the point. The point is… I missed you. I even missed you before you were gone. I don’t want another year like that.”

“Neither do I,” she agreed on a whisper. All questions and confessions aside, that much was true. “And I missed you, too.”

“Then we’re agreed.” He smiled -- that sort of dopey, one-sided smile that always seemed to end their fights. 

This was usually where she made a flippant comment and rolled her eyes, which was his cue to say something sweet and earnest about how much she meant to him. Then hugs and cocoa all around.

But they seemed to be frozen, staring. She suddenly realized their knees were touching and his thumb was still making tiny circles on her palm. “I did a lot of thinking when you were gone,” he said, so low she barely heard it. “Sometimes I wonder if...”

“Oh, you’re here.”

They both turned to the door.

“Sorry about the mess in here,” Emil said, balancing a cup of coffee and several files. He dropped both on the desk. “I’ve been bringing charts home as some of my patients are… Doesn’t matter.” He leaned on the desk. “Clark, you were supposed to call me when she was back.”

Clark let go of her hand. She wished he hadn’t.

He stood. “We just got caught up talking. I… I know you said you wanted to talk to her alone, but…”

“Yes, I do. I hate to be a stickler, but doctor-patient confidentiality is involved.”

“I know, but there’s more than her affected by…”

“You know, I am in the room.” Chloe stood, shaking off the strange, lazy feeling that had stolen over her. There were more important things than her and Clark, as hard as that was to think just seconds after… whatever the hell that was. “And it’s fine, Emil. Clark can stay.” 

Emil seemed hesitant. “Chloe… There are some complications we need to discuss… and they’re rather personal. I really think you and I should…”

“She just said I can stay,” Clark cut in, taking her hand again.

Emil ignored him. “Are you sure?”

She wasn’t. But she was loathe to let Clark leave. Whatever just happened, she wanted to make sure it wasn’t something they ignored, moved right past, brushed off like so many other moments between them. She held tight to his hand and nodded.

Emil sighed. “Then… a few questions first. How is Jimmy doing?”

“He’s fine. I mean, he seemed okay.”

“So he’s adjusted well to… the changes. Do you feel he’s in a stable place?”

“Uh… I’m confused. I mean, he did seem stable. Surprisingly stable. What does that have to do with…”

“Maybe you should sit down.”

“Okay.” She did, pulling Clark with her.

“The first thing you need to know is that your meteor infection was never gone, only dormant. I’ve studied other cases and I have a theory of what might have brought them back.” He seemed nervous. “You see, changes in hormone levels can sometimes affect meteor mutants and… Well, take the case of Desiree Atkins. She…”

“Emil, please don’t give a history lesson, here.” She laughed. “My powers are back. I choose to see this as a good thing.”

“Yes, I’ve gathered that, but… That’s not the only complication.” He stared briefly at Clark before cutting his eyes back to her. “I actually still think you and I should talk alone,”

“Whatever the complication is, I’m sure Clark should know. Maybe everyone. Is this about how they manifest? You should know that the first time, it was tears, but it evolved to touch and…”

“Chloe, this isn’t about your powers. At least… not directly. It’s related as there’s a reason they came back. That brings me back to Mr. Olsen. He probably should hear this, too.”

Chloe shook her head. “I don’t understand. What does Jimmy have to…”

“He’s going to be a father,” Emil finally said, then cringed. “By that, I mean… you’re pregnant. I’m sorry. I’m not known for my bedside manner.”

Clark’s hand was gone. 

“The two of you might want to discuss… See, the hormonal changes seemed to have brought your abilities out of their dormant state. That’s what I’m trying to say. Very badly.”

There were several coffee stains on the carpet. Emil was kind of messy, wasn’t he?

“Chloe?”

She looked up.

“Do you understand what I’m saying?”

She wasn’t sure she did. “Jimmy’s moving to Oklahoma,” she said dully. 

“Well, perhaps he might want to rethink that,” Emil said gently, crouching in front of her. “Given the situation.”

She shook her head, her vision blurring. Was she crying? Again? “It’s impossible.”

“I’ve known for some time. I didn’t want to tell the others as I wasn’t sure what your decision would be. But you’re past the first trimester and… Well, your options aren’t what they might have been had you woken up before… You see, he really should be told.”

“No, he shouldn’t,” she heard herself saying, staring at him, then at Clark, who was on the other side of the room now. So far away. And he’d only get farther. “Jimmy doesn’t need to know.” She swallowed hard, pulling her eyes away from Clark. “You see, we haven’t been together since before the wedding.”

Emil’s eyes widened. “Then…” He turned, looked at Clark.

Clark only shook his head. 

Emil turned back to her. “Then…”

“It’s Davis,” she heard Clark say.

Just before he walked out.

****************

“You can’t be serious,” Tess scoffed loudly. 

“Yes, I can.” 

“Well, forget it.” She hadn’t even finished her coffee. Why was he pulling this shit on her before she even finished her coffee? Lex had called her to meet him at The Planet at 5 am. That was ludicrous. The fact that he was waiting in her office dressed like an overgrown punk with long hair under a hoodie, for God’s sake, was even more ridiculous. She’d just finished reflecting that things couldn’t get weirder when he told her that Chloe Sullivan needed to be rehired by The Daily Planet. “I finally got rid of that entire cabal. People actually listen to me now. This place has been running smoothly for the first time since way before I came in.”

“Oh, I’m sure things will be fine.” He leaned on her desk. “Besides, this wasn’t a suggestion.”

Tess set down her coffee, only just resisting tossing it right Lex’s face. “Well, this is a refusal,” she spat. “Do you know what it’s like to be surrounded by people who undermine you at every turn, accuse you with every…”

“Way better than you do,” he cut in, smiling. “But it’s a necessary evil. We need to keep her close now that she’s back among the living.”

Tess stared at him. “What do you know?”

“When you’re ready.”

“I’m sick to death of that word,” she growled. “And what makes you think she’d even say yes?”

“I know a different Chloe Sullivan than you do. Trust me. She couldn’t say no.”

“Maybe not to The Daily Planet, but to me…”

“So you sweeten it up,” Lex said impatiently. “Take me down if you need to. I fired her for non-work related reasons. I’m such an asshole! This paper needs reporters like her. You’ll seat her under the Tiffany lamps. Whatever she needs to hear. Just get her there!”

Tess threw up her hands. “Great! Why don’t I just hire Kent back, while I’m at it?”

Lex laughed. “That would be even better. Try that, too.”

“Damn it, Lex! What’s making this happen? What do you know?”

“When you’re…”

“Fuck you,” she growled, picking up her phone. “How the hell do I even contact her? She disappeared with Bloome. Obviously, he came back with that thing terrorizing the city, but I have no idea where…”

“She’s in Metropolis with her little gang. Has been for months. Safe and sound,” he shrugged, “aside from a little coma.”

“How do you know all this?”

“Just contact Queen,” he said, ignoring her question. “Start with him. Lay the foundation. Toss me under the bus a little. That always makes him happy.”

“But why…”

“We need to keep an eye on her. That’s all you need to know.”

CHAPTER SIX

Chloe’s pregnant with Davis/Dooms baby? Check.  What can I say? It was what my patron required. 

Now for the hardest part of all… How do our heroes deal? And can our duo find their way to each other over all these hurdles?

*Rolls up sleeves*