Almost Lovers (Chapter Thirty-One)

Banner by Summerstar882

PREVIOUS CHAPTER

I hope it's as good as I can make it. Either way, I couldn't stop myself from posting it.

Last chapter. I am a little choked up about that.

Thank you all so much for reading. I know Blogger's comment notification thing just sucks. I do reply to your comments as much as I possibly can, just so you know and am so thankful to have such thoughtful readers.

References to all the last fics, all of Smallville in a way, one specific reference to Obscura.

Chapter Thirty-One

She screamed and whirled around. There was a dark shape in her bathroom doorway. She knew it too well by now. She pulled the shirt down quickly. “Clark?”

He chuckled, stepped forward, his eyes flashing red. “In a way.”

She caught sight of his hand in the scant light from the streetlights outside. A ring. A red rock.

She laughed. She had to. After all this time, it was almost ridiculous. “Kal?”

She shivered and felt almost transported back. If it wasn’t freezing cold, she’d think she’d somehow travelled through time to that fall. An inn closing after the summer season wasn’t too far off from the same place packing up after the holidays. She almost wanted to rush to a mirror and check the shade of her damned hair.

Then she saw his arms, white dress sleeves rolled up just slightly over tight blue and just the slightest hint of a red and yellow S at his open collar. It was still so surreal.

She stopped laughing when he got closer, quickly moving away and putting distance between them. But he only moved past her to the window, closing it before turning to her.

“Damn it. Should’ve shut that. I can’t always tell when it’s…”

“Of course,” she hissed. “Of course you’re here. I’m not allowed to get away for three seconds, am I?”

He threw up his hands and leaned on the windowsill. “Hey, I’m just here for a friendly visit. You can have all the time you want. I don’t have to stay,” he said with a smile that sort of oozed into a smirk. “Not unless you want me to.”

“Yeah. Well, I don’t. Not with that thing on your finger.” She moved to the door and pulled it open hard. “So just…”

“I didn’t say I’d leave right now.” Clark moved past her again and to the easy chair by the fire, sprawled out as if he had all the time in the world. “I have a few things to get off my chest. Speaking of chests,” he leered, “I just want to say that yours, after all these years, is still my ideal…”

“If that’s what you came to say, then I’d rather not hear it.” She groaned and shut the door. Because the rest of the place, empty as it was, didn’t need to hear it, either. “Where the hell did you get that thing, anyway?”

“Linda found it on Ebay.” He laughed. “Paid almost a thousand. Can you believe that sh*t? I think most of our classmates are making a mint off the meteor obsessed. We should have got in on…”

“Linda?”

“She pretty much blindsided me with it.”

“Linda?” she repeated, shaking her head. “Of all people, she should know better than to…”

“She doesn’t know as much as she thinks she does. Doesn’t even know if you’ll come back. But she was right on here. The only way to get me here was to get me out of my own way.”

“You don’t need to be here! Tell her I’ll come back. I… I mean, in a few weeks, maybe…”

“Few weeks?” he cut in. “You said Monday.”

“Well, I just need time to… decompress after…With what happened with Lex and Lana…”

“After Lex?” He shook his head. “You’ve been through worse. You could decompress from that with a fifteen minute coffee break.” He laughed softly. “And Lana…” He narrowed his eyes. “I took care of her. Don’t worry about that. No one f*cks with you and…”

“Wearing that?” Her eyes widened. 

“Oh, relax! It was days ago. And I didn’t hurt her. Not even a little. Just a little talk.” He laughed softly. “Besides, you aren’t decompressing. No. You’re trying to figure out what to do with the new info. Just like Jimmy, Lex even…”

“You know about that?” she breathed. “I never said…”

“You didn’t have to. I figured it out, in the end.”

“I didn’t want you to,” she whispered, moving to the bed and sinking to the edge. “I was hoping you wouldn’t. I wanted to sort it out myself before… before everyone made a big deal out of it.”

“Jesus! How is this anything but a big deal?” He stood. “I’ve been working on Grady’s patients and, if they aren’t in f*cking rehab, they’re locked into months of treatment. I’ve been hunting them down for two days and…”

She gasped. “So you know that all of us…”

“I happened to figure that out, too. Stop looking so surprised.” He chuckled. “It’s insulting.”

“No. I’m impressed.” She shrugged. “I’m glad you’re helping them.” She stiffened. “But I don’t need your help.”

He laughed then, loudly. “You do. You need it most of all. They might need a facility or a therapist, but you… You need me.”

“I don’t. Why don’t you just let me…”

“You need all the info.” He shrugged, moving toward her. “I know you.”

“Well, I’ve got it all now,” she said through her teeth as she stood. 

“Not everything.”

“Yes. Everything. So leave me alone to…”

“You don’t know what you should.”

“I have enough to…”

“I love you.”

She blinked and turned away. For him to just say it like that… “You love me? You aren’t even you right now. I’m not even me. Or I am.” She swiped at her suddenly damp cheeks. “I don’t know who I…”

He gripped her from behind, hands caressing her shoulders as she started to move to the door. “I love you. I don’t give a sh*t who you are, what you call yourself. I love you.”

She squeezed her eyes shut. “Please don’t…”

“I’ve loved you for so damned long, I can’t even think of where it started.”

“No.” She stiffened and pulled away. “It ended. It ended too many times for this to ever work…”

“I f*cking love you and you know it! How the hell else would I put up with your sh*t?”

She whirled on him. “Excuse me while I restrain a swoon! How romantic of you!”

“How romantic of you! You came here, after all.”

“Romantic?” She gestured around her. “This was a reminder! This is where I came to remember that you leave!”

“No, I don’t.” He shook his head. “I’ve been here even when it f*cking hurt, Lois, so don't you tell me..."

"It was this place. This room. This is where you left me."

"I didn't have a choice." He pointed his fingers vaguely north. “I wasn't given one. But I’d do it again. I made a deal for your life and…”

“That you never told me about until your stupid notebook. You could have…”

“I could have,” he hissed, stepping toward her. “But how was I to know what was coming? How was I to know how much it would f*cking kill me to leave you? Even if he gave me a moment to say goodbye, I... I don’t even know if I’d have told you. I was a stupid kid, then. I thought you were something I couldn't have, shouldn't want. I never knew…”

“But that wasn’t the only time you left,” she broke in. “What about later?” She shook her head backed away. “What about after Ruby Ridge? What about that night in your barn. I told you I loved you and you told me to f*ck off…”

“I never…”

“You might as well have!” 

“How was I to know that…”

She pushed at him. “And then you come back and try to act like everything’s fine and then… and now… Now you say you love me? F*ck you!”

He gripped both of her hands in one of his. “Stop it. You’ll only hurt yourself.”

“Better than you hurting me. At least I trust myself!” She tried to pull away, hit him some more, but it was useless. “Let me go,” she said on a broken whisper.

“Never,” he said warmly. “You know, you can stay here another year and it wouldn’t help. You couldn’t stop.”

“Stop what?”

“Loving me right back.” He pulled her wrists to his chest. “Hell, you fell in love with me twice."

She met his eyes. She couldn’t think of a thing to say to that. She couldn’t deny it. She turned her gaze away instead. "And who did you fall in love with?"

"What are you talking about? I just told you. I was you all along, no matter..."

"And who the hell am I?” She finally pulled her wrists free and backed away. “I have no idea who I am. I'm not who I was. I'm not who I've been this past year.” Her back met the wall and she stilled, hugging her arms. “I'm not that idealistic cub reporter from Smallville, either. I'm... I'm not… I... I need space. I need time. You can't just act like you love me and…”

“I do love you.”

“Stop saying that!” she yelled. “How am I supposed to believe that?”

“Because it’s true. Because we’re connected. You must have felt that all along or you’d have given up me. You must have felt it every time we made love...”

“This from the guy with the red flashing eyes,” she said with a bitter laugh. “When did you ever make love?"

"Maybe every time.” He shrugged. “You have to know me by now. I can't f*ck without love. I spent a whole summer in Metropolis trying and failing before you came along. I remember wanting to just do it, just get it over with, just f*ck so I could prove it meant nothing. I never could. Not until you.” He laughed softly. “You were my first.”

She shook her head. “I don’t believe you. You weren’t my…”

“But you were mine. Why is that so hard to believe?” He laughed again. “The sheer number of times in that first night should tell you that. I think I just couldn’t believe it was happening, that you were letting me, that it was so good. Such a stupid kid…”

“Yes. It was a mistake,” she cut in. “The mistake of a couple of stupid kids. In the end, maybe that’s all it will ever…”

“If it was a mistake, then it was one I couldn’t stop making. I could never stay away. Because it was so good. So good that after…” He sucked in a breath. “I couldn’t stop coming back to you. Only you.” He held up his hand. “This rock on my finger might have been a f*cking stupid mistake, but it got one thing right. There was only ever you. The only…”

“Only me? That’s not true.” She held his stare and planted her feet, trying to stand her ground, away from him. “You certainly got over me when you lost your powers, when you and Lana…”

“And you didn’t touch anyone else?” He narrowed his eyes. “Didn’t you have your easy little fling? I think you definitely stepped out more than I did. So don’t…”

“No! Let’s not brush off you and Lana as a fling,” she growled. “I spent years of my life watching your little soap opera, knowing you only came to me because I was the easiest choice…”

He let out a deep chuckle. “You were never easy.”

“I never said no,” she threw back at him.

“Neither did I.” He shook his head and moved to the other side of the bed. “Well, maybe I did, most of the time.” He laughed bitterly and held out his hand, staring at the ring. “Sometimes I’m amazed I didn’t spend every second strung out on this rock. It called to me almost all the time. Every time I was with you, every time we got too close, it was like some kind of persuasive little whisper inside me, telling me to give in, put it on. Wasn’t I tired? Wouldn’t I feel better? And that always started with you…”

“Don’t you give me that,” she said hotly. “It started with Lana. Every time she rejected you, every time she pushed you away…”

“Is that what you think?” He stared at her, tilting his head, leaning both hands on the bed between them. “Jesus! I spent the first half of two-thousand-six f*cking you with Lana doing everything she could to draw me in.” He held her stare. “I never touched her again after I got my powers back and that had everything to do with you.”

“Because you didn’t care if you hurt me!”

“Because I didn’t want anyone but you when I was Kal!”

She stepped toward that damned bed between them. “There is no Kal!” she spat.

“I know that,” he growled, straightening and stepping back. “Except for how there is. There's also a Clark. There’s also a Kal-El. There's also a Superman and it’s damned hard to always figure out which one to be or if… if I have to be every single one of them at once! But they’re always inside me just like Chloe Sullivan is always inside you. That part of that doesn’t hide away, trying to be perfect or whatever the hell you think you should be, that part of you that gets pissed off and f*cks up and… Do you think I don’t understand what it’s like, balancing more than one existence? Hell, if I can do it, you can do it in your sleep.” He shrugged and smiled. “You always were the best part of us.”

“There isn’t an us! You can’t just walk in here and suddenly start…”

“This isn’t sudden!” He took a step around the bed between them, then another, then stopped just shy of her.

Good. God help her, she couldn’t take it if he moved closer.

“If you know everything,” he went on, “then you know this is anything but sudden. You know where I stand, Lois, and…”

“And I’m just supposed to fall in line?” she demanded, “Is that what you think? That because…”

“Oh, no.” He laughed and shook his head. “Believe me, if I ever thought you were easy, that’s been blown to sh*t after…”

“Well, here you are!” She jabbed her finger at the bed. “You came straight here thinking I’d just fall into that bed and…”

"I'm not going to f*ck you,” he cut in, his voice sort of caressing the word without that tell-tale hesitation. 

That was the thing about Clark on the red stuff. He had a dirty mouth and a dirty mind and there was nothing to hold either back and there was something almost shocking about it, after all this time. So it took her a moment to absorb what he was saying.

“I’ll get out of your way when I’ve said what I came here to say,” he went on. “But you should know that I didn’t come right here. I took a little detour and…”

“I don’t care what you did,” she cut in, digging into his first sentence. “Just leave and…”

“Not until you have all the info,” he said abruptly. “Like I said…”

“Yes. You love me. You apparently loved me before you knew you did. How horribly flattering. Now sober up and…”

“Don’t mock me. It’s all…”

“Would you be saying any of this without that red rock on your--”

“Yes! God damn it!” He gripped his left hand in his right and pulled hard. The ring dropped to the floor with a dull, heavy thud.

Her eyes followed it as it landed between her feet.

His did, too, then met hers when they travelled up.

“Yes,” he said again, breathing heavily, backing away from her and the ring. He sank to the bed and dropped his head into his hands. “Jesus!”

She quickly kicked it away and almost moved to him before she checked herself. “Are you okay?” she asked dully, pulling her hands to her sides.

“Yeah. Just… takes a minute,” he panted, hands still over his face. “Damn Linda! I’m gonna…” He slid his hands away and met her eyes. “Give her a stern… talking-to,” he finished lamely. “I wasn’t supposed to come here.”

“Damn right, you weren’t!” She moved to the door again, glad she was dealing with someone she knew she could handle… in this life, at least. She pulled it open. “You made your little speeches. Now…”

“Linda had a point, though,” he said, not getting up. “I might have taken a detour, but this was the only place I wanted to be once I stopped thinking I shouldn’t intrude on…”

“Intrude on me? You shouldn’t have. Now…”

“It was always you. Always you I wanted when I stripped everything else away,” he said dully, staring at his hands. “Underneath the black-outs and the mental blocks, there was something there… Underneath it all, it was us.” He looked up, met her eyes again. “It was always going to be you and me in the end.”

She shook her head and gripped the door frame in her hand.

"It's you, Lois… Chloe. I wish I could say I knew it all along, like you did, like you said. It’s you. It's always you."

Her eyes widened as she realized just what he was talking about… 

A wooden box and darkness and dirt and certain death… then a sudden jolt, the violent shift as the makeshift coffin was pulled upward drunkenly, then blessed air, then Clark calling her name as she sucked in frantic breaths, Clark’s face in the moonlight that suddenly seemed as bright as day. Clark’s hands on her…

It took her years to realize that happened the way she remembered, that it wasn’t just some adolescent romanticizing of his actions. Lana helped him find her and… she just must have imagined the rest. There was only one thing she was sure she got right at the time, her own words…

“I knew it was you. It's always you.”

There were so many times in the years after that she went back to those words, to that moment, telling herself that, however she romanticized the moment, she said those words and he was there to hear them. They were always at the back of her mind, telling her that she wasn’t crazy, that there was something different about him, that his timing was entirely too spot on because it was always him that saved her from certain death. Those words were a beacon of truth through many lies, not something to lure her with now.

“Don’t you dare throw my own words back at me,” she hissed. “That was not about you and me. That was only…”

“It was always going to be you and me. I don’t think either of us ever realized how right we almost had it. Maybe we took some wrong turns with the wrong people. But none of that matters now. You yourself said that it was pointless to go around kissing other guys until you find the one that makes you forget about me and… I feel the same way. The fact is, I don’t think there’s anyone else for me.” He reached behind, pulled something from his back pocket. “But maybe it’s just me.” He stared down at the bundle, wrapped in a handkerchief. He ran his hands over it, then opened it. 

She couldn’t even see it in the dim light, whatever he was staring at.

“Jor-El was right about the blue stone. I pretty much sat on it and couldn’t even give it a dent. And I couldn’t harm anything that touches it.” He lifted his eyes to her again. “Sometimes, I think it should belong to you, no matter what. Even if I’m kidding myself about you and me, I want you to have something like this, something that means I could never hurt you because… Well…” He shrugged and moved closer. “You’re the last person in the world I’d ever want to hurt again... in any way.”

She stared at the shiny bracelet on the cloth. It seemed so strange and so familiar at once. “It looks like your roadside souvenir,” she said, trying not to reach for it.

“Because it is.”

She’d spent so long cursing it, wondering about it, investigating it, then wishing it to see it just one more time. She stepped back. It must be dangerous, to pull at her this way. This one seemed to do it, too. Her fingers almost itched to touch it. But it wasn’t the same. The stone wasn’t rounded turquoise. It was clear, bright blue and reflected the scant moonlight from the window, almost mesmerizing the way it…

She took another step away. “That’s not the same…”

“It is. Just looks different with a little spit and polish,” he said, holding it up as it left dancing patterns on the wall, on his shirt, over his face… “A little work burning away the years of dirt and freezing away the turquoise and you can see what’s underneath. Jor-El said it’s blue kryptonite. The rarest stone that my ship dragged behind it. I guess in terms of kryptonite it’s rarer than a diamond.” He placed it back on his handkerchief. “I’m lucky it’s rare,” he said, staring down at it. “It could take my powers away if I wore it.”

“Well, I had that thing clamped to me for the better part of a week,” she said lowly, “so what did it do to me?”

“Nothing at all.”

“It wouldn’t come off!”

“Because you didn’t want it to.”

“You said it was barbaric, like a manacle…”

“I didn’t understand it. Sometimes I still don’t. But I’m starting to see it for what it is.” He stared at it, smiling slightly. “The closest I can come is that it’s a physical representation of what’s already here, how right we’ve always almost had it. See, this is for you. It’s for no one but you. I might have said we had a choice, but how do we? How did we ever?” He took a deep breath and held her gaze. “I might like to rail against the idea that anything is predestined, but sometimes you can see it at work… fate or chance or whatever you want to call it. It was chance that caught you in that meteor shower with your mother. It didn’t have to bring you back to Smallville, but it did. It gave you your little penchant for the weird and unexplained and somehow it brought you to me. What are the chances?” He shook his head. “How did I, with so much to hide, end up friends with someone as nosy as you?” He shrugged. “I couldn’t help it. You scared me and I always tried to keep my distance, but I could never stay away. My head always told me you were a dangerous friend to have, but something else always made sure to stay near you. And this thing, between the Kawatche and the Kryptonian in it, knew that. It’s been waiting for me and for you. It holds the past and the future and…” He held it out. “It belongs to you.”

She didn’t take it. 

He nodded, then placed it gingerly on the bed. “It’s yours if you ever want it.” He shrugged and met her eyes, backing to the open door. “That’s all I have to say.”

“No,” she breathed. “You can’t just leave that here and…”

“Lois, we’ve talked us to death,” he said softly, “we’ve started over, we’ve fought ourselves and each other. Do you really want to do it all again? At some point, it all comes down to whether you trust me, not who I was, but who I am. I think we could get it right this time. I know how we started, but we can change how we end. I could spend the rest of my life making that up to you if…”

“Exactly. Like a guilty project,” she cut in desperately. “You want to fix this or fix me and… It’s just like Lana, like Alicia. Your… your repeating pattern of wallowing in guilt and…”

“Do you seriously think you and I fit any kind of existing pattern? I’m done with wallowing.” He shook his head. “I’m done being that boy that practically runs to guilt with open arms in a field of wildflowers,” he smiled, “like you said.” He dropped his smile. “I’m not a boy anymore and you’re not a girl.”

“He’s not that boy anymore and you’re not that girl,” Martha had said. God! Was it only a week ago? “You’re adults now and… And that’s all the meddling I’m going to do. The rest is up to you.”

“I’m leaving it up to you.” His voice jarred her as she softly shut the door.

“What are you…”

He moved to the window and opened it. “Wouldn’t want anyone to think you’re hiding a man up here. Double occupancy and all that.” He gave a low laugh and sat on the edge, blocking the cold wind. He met her eyes. “Call Linda. You know she’ll be banging on that door by tomorrow morning if you don’t.”

“Yes. Fine,” she said, turning away from him. She stared at bracelet. That wasn’t any better. She turned back. “You know, if you think…”

He was gone.

“Good,” she whispered. That was a good thing. This was her time away and she didn’t need any more interruptions. It was an interruption. That’s all it was. She could even pretend it hadn’t happened. That she just came back to an open window and… that was it.

I love you.

She shivered and moved to close the window, but her hands froze on the frame. 

You were my first… I couldn’t stop coming back to you. Only you…

She took a deep, cold breath, trying to put it out of her mind. Just an interruption. It changed nothing. It…

…didn’t want anyone but you when I was... Always you I wanted when I stripped everything else away... don’t think there’s anyone else for me...

She turned away only to have her that damned bracelet waiting for her on the bed.

… been waiting for me and for you. It holds the past and the future and…

She wished he’d taken it with him. It would make it so much easier to pretend that never happened.

It belongs to you.

“It happened,” she whispered. “So what?” She shook herself and moved to pick up her purse. She’d call Linda. That was the only way she’d acknowledge this. 

Her hands shook as she opened her phone and she glared at the bed, the bracelet…

…all comes down to whether you trust me, not who I was, but who I am. I think we could get it right this time.

…yours if you ever want it.

If it was hers to do with as she wanted, then she could throw it out that window. She snapped her phone shut and approached it warily.

****************

Clark leaned against his door, glad to see Linda was gone. He wasn’t sure what she’d say and he had a few choice words for her… But what was the point?

Done.

It was done now. Maybe he hadn’t meant to do it, but it was done. He’d put it all out there and… Well, he was glad of it, in the end. If nothing else, maybe now she’d call Linda, come back Monday and…

“Oh, God!” He had to face her then. He had to face her and he was damned glad it was Friday now because he might need some time to figure out how.

He moved to the couch and dropped himself on it. It groaned in protest, but took his weight, all the same, like it had for years. Was it any wonder he couldn’t get rid of it? It had seen enough before his parents let him rescue it from their garbage and put it in his loft. It had been there through many mopes, hadn’t it?

Of course, he was done with that now, wasn’t he? He’d said it and he’d damned well try to mean it. Maybe Linda, and every other person who’d been in his apartment, was right about the lingering cat pee smell. He was barely home enough to notice. Maybe he needed another project outside Happy Harbor. He could tear up this carpet, paint the walls, redo this old couch because it really did hold up. His mother could help with that. But first the carpets…

He was just in the middle of tearing up a corner when his phone vibrated in his pocket. He groaned and straightened, pulling it out. Probably Victor with more names or Linda berating him for… something new now.

He froze and stared at the screen. It wasn’t Linda.

“Hello,” he said softly.

“You know, I’m not putting this thing on if it gets stuck again,” Lois said.

He tried not to smile. And failed miserably.

“I mean, it’s bad enough it took up my watch hand. But I’m going to want to shower, do dishes, clean the toilet… I mean, there are just some things you don’t want to do with something clamped to your wrist.”

“I… understand that.”

“So what’s the deal with this thing, anyway? Do we take it to your ice castle for magical adjustments or…”

“I did speak to Jor-El before I came to you,” he said, clearing his throat. “It should come off if you…”

“Good.”

“You know, we could go back and get some more information or…”

“Yes. Fine. We’ll do that. Now…”

“No. But you’re right. It would get in the way of some…”

“Would you stop talking and get back here?"

He didn’t think twice. He was in front of that open window before he hung up. “Hi,” he breathed.

“Oh, just get in here,” she said, pacing away from the window.

He ducked under and landed on the oriental rug. The lights were on now and it looked like a different room. Even all those years ago, when they stayed here, those two giggling kids breaking into an inn off-season, they had only the barest light.

“You know, this is actually a really nice…”

“Yeah. I know,” she broke in, wringing her hands. “Could you kiss me already? I’m sick of always kissing first.”

He just smiled and moved to her. “You do kind of do that. Pushy.”

“Better than always dragging your feet.” She held his gaze. “I’ve always done most of the work, here. Even that first time…”

“Oh, I remember.” He drew her closer. “You were my first kiss.”

“You were mine.”

He chuckled and leaned down. “You were my first time.”

“Is this a competition?”

He just kissed her instead of answering. If it was, she’d win. She’d known about them long before he ever got a clue. 

He opened his mouth over hers. She tasted like coffee, as always, and a little like toothpaste, as if she’d brushed her teeth before calling him. She was always a little more prepared for them than he was. Is it any wonder he loved her?

"You're mine," he whispered, against her lips.

"No." She broke away and pushed him backward until his knees hit the bed. "You are mine."

He could only nod as he went down, taking her with him. She crawled over him and grabbed the collar of his shirt, pulling hard as buttons went flying. “Stupid suit.”

He agreed. As convenient as it was, he’d like to start going commando if this was how every night ended. He stared up at her hungrily as she moved down and grabbed his waistband, then took her by the waist, rolling them over before backing away.

“What are you doing?”

“Not wasting time,” he said, speeding out of his clothes before moving back to her.

“Don’t rip my…”

“You ripped mine,” he shot back, but he didn’t rip. He just uncovered her, button by button, moving his lips back and forth over every bit of skin he revealed.

“Talk about wasting time,” she muttered before rolling them over. She quickly shucked off her shirt and pulled her bra off over her head. “That’s better.”

“Oh, it is.” He reached for her, but she stopped him, sliding her hands over his, then down his arms. 

“I want to touch you. Maybe I’m always kissing first, but you’re always touching me too much.”

He breathed out a laugh. “In my defense… look at you.” He clenched his hands in the sheet, but didn't touch her.

“Save it.” She rolled her eyes and bent to his chest. “We all know I’m not a lingerie model,” she said, muffled against his skin as she took his nipple in her mouth.

He hissed and jerked upwards. “You would say something like that, then… stop me… talking… God!”

She laughed against his skin. “Say whatever you want.”

“You have to know that…” He moaned as she bit down lightly.

“Sorry. Didn’t catch that. Go on.”

He groaned and rolled them over, kissing her smart mouth for a good long time before he broke away. “I guess it doesn’t matter if you see it,” he breathed, sliding a hand down her side. “I do.” Her slipped it down her hip, taking her pants with it. “So beautiful…”

She slid her hands up his shoulders. “Okay. Enough sweet talk. I get…”

“I love you,” he breathed, letting his mouth follow his hands down her body, “love every part of you.”

Her hands fell away as his lips found her stomach and his hands slid under her, squeezing.

“Some parts more than others,” he murmured.

She let out a surprised laugh as he bit that slightly ticklish spot over her pelvic bone. He smiled against her inner thigh as he tossed her underwear away. “I love you.”

“Mmm-hmm.”

He ran his lips over the skin there, always so unbelievably soft. “And you love me.”

“Mmmm…”

He stilled and glanced up her body. “Lois?”

“Do I have to say it? Like you didn’t know.”

He grinned and opened her legs wider. “Just making sure.”

“After all this, you… Oh!”

He didn’t waste any more time. His mouth found her clit and he worked it like he knew how. After all these years, he’d better know. He didn’t stop until she was writhing under him and, even then, he kept going, waiting for her breathless moans, her hands gripping his hair, her voice hoarsely crying out his name…

**********************

She was kind of glad the place was nearly empty. By the time Clark had her against the bed, she couldn’t tell who was louder.

She kissed him hard, gripping the wooden post behind her and keeping her mouth fused to his as he kept up his hard, almost brutal pace, never letting up… and he’d tried, but she made it clear that the time for slow and soft was over several hours ago. She wanted it hard and fast and didn’t care if she could walk tomorrow… or today. It had to be morning by now.

She opened one eye on the window as he held her up with the weight of his body and one hand gripping her thigh. The other hand was on her breast and she closed her eyes on the rising sun as it brushed one raw, over-sensitized nipple.

She lost his lips as she threw her head back and moaned. “Jesus! Clark!”

Soon, he was pounding her into the post, his mouth falling to her throat. “Lois… Love you…”

She gasped at the words. Never gets old. As many years as she waited to hear it, she wasn’t sure if she could hear it enough. She knew she had to hear it at least a few for times before she could say it back. Just to be even…

“Say it,” she heard him grunt against her neck, as if he knew what she was thinking. “Come on… Please…”

She didn’t. She just let her inner muscles squeeze him until he cried out, gripping her harder. His hips pushed upwards, hitting something inside her that almost had her saying it and whatever the else he wanted to hear. But she clamped her mouth shut, dropping her head to his shoulder.

“God! I love you,” he growled, shaking inside her, pulling away slightly, but never stopping. “Lois, say…”

“I love,” she stopped, panting, “the way you feel,” she finished, meeting his eyes.

He almost laughed. “Damned… stubborn…” He met her lips as he thrust upward hard. 

She gasped into his mouth, her eyes rolling back as her thighs shook and her body tightened and her mind nearly emptied as she tightened around him.

Her body went limp and he followed soon after with several jerky thrusts before he dropped them both to the bed. 

“Love you,” he gasped weakly against her lips.

“Mmmm. Yeah. I’m starting to get that,” she breathed before pushing at him. “You know, we’re going to have to sleep at some point.”

He slid out of her with a hiss and she kept pushing until he rolled off her with an annoyed mutter. “Evil woman.”

“I know. I’m horrible.” She crawled up to the pillows. “Now scoot up. You might be immune to the cold, but some of us need blankets.”

She rolled her eyes at his angry little mumbles as he pulled the covers over them. He was kind of cute when he was all tired out.

“Clark?” She settled against his chest, staring at his closed eyes before she smiled. “Maybe I really do…”

He opened one eye.

“… like you a lot.” She rolled over.

But his arm shot out like vise and pulled her back against him and threw his leg over hers. “You’re mean.” He kissed her shoulder and she was taken back again to this room. 

It's you, Chloe. It's always been you… You're the only one.

That was then. She wondered, as she drifted off, his heart beating against her back, what would have happened if he hadn’t left on that bagel run. If he’d explained those words the next morning instead of a few years later. 

Then again, maybe it had to happen this way. Maybe they weren’t ready then, just a couple of kids still... They weren’t kids anymore. 

Maybe this was the kind of love they had to grow into. 

Maybe she’d even tell him.

He sighed against her back and pulled her closer before his breaths became deep and even.

*********************************

Off. On. Off. On. Off…

“Would you stop it?”

“I’m just making sure,” she mumbled around her food as she slipped the bracelet on again. Then off. Then on…

“I don’t see why you put it on in the first place if all you’re gonna do is play with it,” he said, taking her bagel.

“Hey!” She grabbed it back. “You have your own.”

“You put the cream cheese on all even. I can’t do it right.”

“You’re just lazy. I’m shocked you even went to get me bagels.”

“I’m shocked you wanted me to.”

“Well, you owed me after all this time.” She shrugged and slipped the bracelet off, then on, then off…

“I’m going to take that back if you don’t stop…”

“No, you won’t.” She held it away. “It’s mine. You said so. You don’t get to have it back.”

He gave her a half-smile. “I guess you told me.”

She lifted her chin and slipped it on again. “You know, we should go get something to eat.”

“I just brought you bagels!”

“Yeah, but it’s almost dinner time and this is Maine, for crying out loud. I know it’s winter, but there has to be a lobster place open.”

“Well, we’ll have to swing by my place and pick up a new shirt.” He nodded at the one she had on. “Since you ripped mine to…”

“Would you let that go?”

He shrugged. “I didn’t rip yours and you have other clothes.”

“Fine!” She tossed her bagel into the bag and stood. “I’ll change if you…”

“No. I like it.” He pulled her back to the bed and into his lap. “But you can make it up to me. We can have this new rule where you either wear my clothes or nothing.”

She rolled her eyes. “I know which one you like better.”

He chuckled and leaned up to meet her lips.

“Oh, no. Come on.” She hopped off his lap. “Let’s get dressed. We’ve already wasted a whole day cooped up. There might not be a lot of sights around here this time of year, but we could see a few of them.”

He groaned and got up as well. “We have a nice fire here and…”

“Lobster, Clark. With butter. Extra butter to dunk every bit of it in,” she whispered. 

He smiled. “That does sound pretty good. I never had anything but the tail with a surf-and-turf special.” He left the suit aside for now and pulled his pants on. “And I guess we’re due for a fifth date… or is it the sixth…”

“Are you counting dates again?” she groaned as she shrugged off his shirt and tossed it at him. “You’re so corny.”

He caught it. “Well, I hail from the creamed corn capital of the world, so…”

Her phone suddenly rang. She put a hand up. “Don’t answer it…”

He picked it up and held it out. “You’re gonna have to…”

“I texted her!”

“She hates when you text her! Just pick up and talk to her. Get it over with.”

“It’ll never be over.” She groaned and gathered up her clothes, then took it and moved to the bathroom. “See you in an hour,” she said before closing the door… “Yeah. Hi, Linda… I know… I know, but… Well, I was only…”

He chuckled and cleaned up breakfast quickly before looking around for his shoes. He found one under the window and the other half under the bed near his suit. He stared at the suit, thinking he really should put it on if only to go home and get some clothes. He yanked it out and dislodged something else, which hit the fireplace with a clatter.

He knew what it was. He’d nearly forgotten it was in here.

He ignored it, afraid to even look at it and hurried into the rest of his clothes to the sound of Lois trying to get a word in. He put on his shirt and buttoned what he could, looking in the mirror to see if it covered…

It caught his eye in the mirror, winking at him almost, right by the fire grate. He’d wait for her to come out. He wouldn’t touch it.

**************

She finally got a goodbye in, after many earnest promises that she’d ‘be back Monday’ and ‘yes, Clark was here,’ and ‘no, she was not telling Linda exactly what happened’ and ‘yes, she could bring back lobster’ and ‘no, not right this second’ and on and on…

By the time she hung up, she was presentable enough for a night at a fish house. She’d only brought casual clothes, so a sweater and jeans would have to do, even for a seventh date… or was it the sixth?

Now she was counting! She laughed as she opened the door. “You know, I’m starting to think I’m as corny as… Clark?”

“Yeah. Hey.” He looked up, as if surprised she was there. He was sitting at the foot of the bed, in front of the fire.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” He stared into the fire, shaking his head. “Except maybe that.”

She followed his gaze to the fire… or the ring practically sitting in the iron grate. “Oh. That.”

“I was thinking we could take it to Victor, just drop it off at Happy Harbor before dinner. He can take care of it.”

“Yeah, that’s one option.”

He nodded. “You’re right. We should just toss it into the ocean and…”

“Or we can stop being afraid of it,” she cut in, sweeping it up quickly before it got too hot. “It’s just a ring, Clark. Just a red rock.”

He let out a humorless laugh. “You wouldn’t say that if it was green.”

“No, but…” She turned it over in her hand. “It’s different.”

“That’s right. It’s worse.”

She shook her head. “Nothing is worse than seeing you writhing in pain.” She shuddered. “Believe me.”

“How could you, of all people, say that? That rock brought out the side of me that used you.”

“It also brought out a side of you that told the truth,” she smiled sadly, “even when it wasn’t pretty or nice.” She took a seat next to him, staring down at the ring. “You said it last night. You came to me on this. This brought out a side of you that let yourself feel something besides guilt and misery. And you wouldn’t go to such extremes if you didn’t have this crazy need back then to repress everything you feel.” She turned to him. “And that’s not just feelings about me.” She touched his face with her free hand. “Sometimes I think that was what kept me coming back, though, even when I felt it was wrong,” she stroked his cheek, “that you let yourself feel all those things around me.”

“Because it was you.” He turned his head slightly, pressing his lips into her hand. “Still, we need to get rid of it.”

She sighed and dropped her hand away. “Is it weird that I want to keep it?” she asked sheepishly.

His eyes widened. “Yes.”

“Well, it’s like with the green. I’ve had to use it on you a few times when things got out of hand. And…”

“There is nothing useful about this.”

“I’m just saying that… Well, it’s like drinking. I have a glass of wine every now and then. That doesn’t mean…”

“It’s not the same thing. Besides, we’re just handing it off to Victor. I personally can’t think of a use for it, but if you seriously think…”

“I mean, I could hold onto it. That’s all. I have a lead box and…”

“I’m not putting anything between us ever again,” he broke in, taking her by the chin, “not even a red rock,” he finished before kissing her. “What’s this about? Am I too uptight for you or something?”

She hesitated.

He noticed. “Lois…”

“I’m not saying you are, but you do have a tendency…”

“What?”

“I’m just thinking you could let out your wild side a little more.”

“Well… fine, then. I’ll… do it right now,” he said before upending her onto the bed as the ring clattered away. “Screw dinner.”

She crinkled up her nose. “I don’t know. I’m still sensing inhibitions.”

He leaned over her. “I meant f*ck dinner.”

“Little better.” She shrugged, then patted his chest. “But I still want dinner.” She started to get up.

He pulled her back under him, pinning her hands to the bed. “Well, you’re gonna wait… woman.”

“Such a he-man,” she giggled.

“Laugh at me,” he muttered, meeting her lips.

She laughed again. She couldn’t help it. They’d done little enough laughing all these years. She had a feeling they’d make up for it in the years to come.

Years to come, she thought hazily, turning her head as he kissed his way down her neck, staring at the bracelet below the left hand entwined in his. She hadn’t even thought that far ahead. Well, why not?

“Clark?” She turned her head and caught his eyes, half-lidded and just a little heated. “I love you, too.”

EPILOGUE

Well, not exactly. There's an epilogue to come in the next few days…