Questions I imagine you may have...

In which you are a strawman and I attempt to answer you...

What the hell have you been doing for the last year and a half?

Working, writing things that aren't fic (well, except this one thing which is kind of fic, but not. I'll explain below). I've been writing light entertainment journalism for a magazine and, when I can, I write recaps, reviews or rants over at Legendary Women's medium collection. I also published a novel under my new pen name which you can find here:

https://www.amazon.com/Maybe-Its-Magic-Friends--Lovers-ebook/dp/B076KQY399

Wait a sec... Magic crystals, best friends to lovers... That sounds an awful lot like Under The Influence.

That's because it is. I took that fic because it wasn't my most popular and was so short and simple and easy to take out of Smallville and thought I would finally try self-publishing but with something short and not too complicated just to get an idea of the process. Of course, it was way more work than I imagined. I basically took a 15K and -- between adding more plot, more characters and changing the main characters' personality and dynamic -- turned it into a 50K novella. I'm fairly proud of it, but I do want to get into some more ambitious works.

So is Under The Influence gone forever?

Well, from this blog and anywhere else it was posted, yes. But if you enjoyed it before and want a copy of that messy old thing, feel free to message or email me and I can sort you out. But I would rather you read the new version. It's much better. If you'd like a free copy of that, I can send you an ARC in exchange for an honest review on Goodreads or Amazon.

Okay, fine. I guess I get it. You were always whining about how you want to write for real. But what about the fic?

It just became a chore and one I had to bribe myself into. I did start posting my old stuff on Ao3, hoping the engagement and the reminder that I could be a finisher might motivate me, but all I felt was tired of Smallville. For some time now, between family illnesses, drama, and even death, it's gotten harder and harder to feel good about writing fix-it fic for a show that, by the end, I didn't even enjoy.

Besides that, the fandom has been dead for some time. Most people have moved on to other shows and fandoms. No one seemed to be on tenterhooks for my fic and that's okay. But it's also not much of a motivator for me to write it.

Is that all? You don't want to?

That's only part of it and it's actually a small part. I had started writing on it again late last summer after things calmed down in my family and the grief didn't feel so fresh. I thought I'd allow myself X amount of work on my own stuff in exchange for writing chapters, finishing each fic slowly with a very complicated chore writing/fun writing system. I made a chart and started doing write-ins with old SV pals and everything.

Then the news cam about about Allison Mack.

Oh, yeah. The cult thing. But wasn't that always something most of us knew, but didn't want to think about with her and Kristin Kreuk?

I knew years ago they were in this shady pyramid scheme under this BS guru, but I thought of her kind of the same way I thought about Elizabeth Moss, who's in Scientology. I felt bad for where she was and how little awareness she had, but I didn't think she was a bad person. I just hoped that one day that douchebag would get arrested for something and both she and Kristin would wise up and leave.

Then I heard the more licentious rumors some time in 2016 (that she was romantically involved with the leader and part of his harem) and was really grossed out. But the only person saying it was this one guy with a blog. He was kind of an alt-right jerk and I figured he was some guy who had an axe to grind. How could he know all the stuff he was saying anyway? It felt easy to dismiss at the time.

Then the Daily Mail stuff hit and it was much worse than what I'd heard before and much harder to ignore when it was everywhere. But this was The Daily Mail and their only source was that one guy, still, so I thought AM or KK might speak out and separate the fact from the fiction (the fact that neither of them have to this day pisses me off).

But now that victims are speaking out to legitimate news outlets, it's hard to call these rumors or alleged. The fact that she continues to tweet and post supposedly inspirational quotes with no statement, ignoring her fans'pleas for answers, makes me so angry. I never hit an unfollow button so hard.

Do you hate her?

Kind of. I feel like being a fan of her and Chloe and continuing to watch Smallville when it stopped being fun was a huge waste of my time, but that last was my fault.

I do feel sorry for whatever is broken in her that makes her both a victim and an abuser, but it doesn't excuse her.

So that's it? You're never going to finish your fic?

I can't say that for sure. Right now it's too hard for me to separate the actress from the character. Unless Mack leaves this organization and makes amends for her part in victimizing other women, I will continue to have negative feelings about her and Chloe. I just plain don't want to write fic under that kind of cloud. It wouldn't be any good, anyway.

Will this bitterness cause you to remove all your old fics?

No. They'll stand as they are, WIPs included. I do have one or two old fics where the plot is removed far enough from SV that, in the far flung future, I might take it down in order to use the premise, some scenes, and some elements. But I will give fair warning if that were to happen.

What are you doing now?

I have moved on to writing original works and have started drafting one on Wattpad. Also trying it out on Ao3, but not sure how well it will do there, but here are links if you're interested.

https://www.wattpad.com/story/135523324-the-lady-pursues

I might share chapter links as I go. I don't know. I'm not sure anyone even visits this blog. I don't know if anyone's even reading this now!

Anyway, yeah. My imaginary Q&A with you has ended. Carry on.








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