Restless Nights (Chapter Nineteen)

This chapter is definitely veering toward the NC-17 side of things. It’s also the longest chapter yet. I’m not even sure it will fit in one post! We’ll see. There was just a lot I needed to fit in here as I’m trying to keep the number of chapters down even as the word count rises and rises and rises. I really wanted this to be novella length, but this was a tough request and it’s taken a lot of words to get here. I’ll just stop apologizing for it now as it is what it is. 

PREVIOUS CHAPTER

I know the voices dying with a dying fall
Beneath the music from a farther room.
So how should I presume?

Chapter Nineteen

If someone had told her a year ago, that this was in the cards, she’d have laughed in their face. She almost had to take a second to make sure this wasn’t some crazy pregnancy sex dream. Of course, it wasn’t anything like her dreams, hard to control and, on the rare occasion they were sexual, more on the surreal side.

Then again, how was this not surreal? She was making out with Clark Kent. He was making out with her… enthusiastically. Maybe it was more like a daydream. She’d definitely had plenty of those about Clark up until... 

“Ow!” She hissed as his hands squeezed her breasts. 

He pulled back. “I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s fine,” she said quickly, pulling him down again to meet her lips. It didn’t exactly hurt, but her breasts were extremely sensitive these days. She was glad of that little twinge. It was enough to tell her this was definitely happening.

He tore his lips away. “We should stop.”

She stared at him, almost resigned. Just like her daydreams. Everything always stops before the good parts… except for how his hands were still on her breasts. 

“I need to go on patrol,” he breathed, eyes unfocused.

“Okay.”

He hadn’t taken his hands away. “You know, people just… they get all crazy around the holidays.”

She sighed and leaned against her bedroom doorway. There were more important things. “Of course. I get it. You need to go.”

“I do,” Clark said, rather miserably. His hands finally fell away, but he didn’t move. “I’m just thinking that dress is probably really…” He grew silent.

“Stupid?” she suggested.

“Uncomfortable. You know, Victor hasn’t called me to check in yet. If you need help…”

“I do,” she cut in brightly, nodding several times. “There’s a zipper and everything.”

“Well, that’s… You know, I’ll just help you out with that and then I go.”

“Exactly. I wouldn’t want you to stay when the… crazy holiday… things…” She pulled him in again, all the way in, right into her room, practically onto her bed when she realized he was trying to turn her around and get to that zipper.

They both fell to a heap on the bed, Chloe trying to get those lips back on hers and Clark trying to work his hands under her. 

“Stop. I can’t get the zipper…”

“I don’t care. Rip it off me!”

He huffed. “I’m not gonna…”

“I hate this dress!”

“Okay. I hate it, too,” he growled, reaching for her neckline and giving a yank, then stilling and staring at her.

It was all insanely hot… until the moment she realized she was half naked and Clark was staring at her and her bra and panties weren’t even pretty. They were just practical, serviceable, white…

“God, Chloe,” he breathed. “Why did we wait so long?”

She sat up. She knew the feeling. ”Yeah. Why couldn’t this have happened at some point when I didn’t have a volleyball under my skin?”

“Huh?” He met her eyes. “I didn’t mean that. I just… I wasted a lot of time not looking at your breasts.” His eyes moved down. His hands slid the torn dress further off her shoulders, taking her bra straps with it. “I just want that time back.”

She shivered when the cups were dragged down as well, then let out a slight laugh. “You’re not actually looking at my breasts. They’ve been inflated.”

He grinned. “I’m okay with that.” He dropped his smile and met her eyes again. “I’m also looking forward to the regular version. Don’t get me wrong. But this is nice.” His hands cupped her. “God, you’re beautiful.”

She rolled her eyes and pulled out of the dress and made quick work of the bra. “Okay. There you go. Enough of mine. What about yours?”

“I don’t have awesome breasts.”

“You know what I mean.” She giggled and grabbed at his shirt. 

He took her hands in his. She quickly pulled them away and his eyes widened. “Chloe!”

“Don't you hate this shirt?”

“My mom gave it to me.”

“Fine.” She laid back and sighed. “But get it off quickly or I can’t make any promises.”

“I have a better idea.” He leaned over her, one hand sliding down her side, one finger hooking into her panties.

“Clark…”

“What?” His lips met her neck.

“I don’t know,” she moaned. “Don’t stop.” As much as she couldn’t help feeling insecure at every stretched-out bit of her he exposed, she wanted his hands on her more than she wanted to hide.

He slid her panties just a little lower, then stopped, head dropping to her chest. “I haven’t done this a lot,” he panted, his breath glancing over her breasts. “Tell me if… I mean, I could never tell if Lana… I mean, I don’t want to talk about Lana, but… I’m just saying that… I don’t know what I’m saying,” he finished on a groan.

She lifted her head slightly. “Clark, if you don’t feel ready…”

He lifted his head as well, his eyes boring into her. “I am extremely ready. I might be too ready by now. I’m just saying I…” He shrugged. “I want to make this good for you.”

She nodded. “Well, the parts with you touching me were all good for me. The parts where you look back on your sexual history with Lana were less good for me, just as a minor critique.” She smiled a little.

He chuckled, then bent to her breasts again, sort of sighing. “They really are…”

“Would you stop talking about them and do something?” she snapped on a laugh.

He didn’t argue, just huffed out a rather pained laugh and brushed his lips over the top of each. He inhaled deeply as he moved down, lips brushing so lightly over her left nipple. She jumped at the contact, light as it was.

“It’s just sensitive,” she said on a whisper.

“Is that a good thing?”

“Kind of feels like it is at the mome…” She trailed off as his lips closed around it, pulling just a little. Her hips bucked up with pretty much no permission from her.

Clark didn’t stop, but one hand slid lower, over her rounded belly, making her frantically pray that baby didn’t pick this moment to kick. She wasn’t sure she could handle anything, even a reminder of all the reasons this was hasty and a little insane, getting between her and Clark right now. But all was still and Clark’s hand moved over her regrettably sensible panties… then inside.

She let out a shaky breath as she felt his fingers sliding through her curls, then below. 

He lifted his head. “You feel so wet. Jesus, Chloe.” He shuddered, his fingers making tiny circles over her clit as he dipped his head to her other breast.

"Clark..." She jolted against him.

He lifted his head again. "Is that good?"

She squeezed her eyes shut as his fingers slid over her again. "It's good," she panted. Tiny shocks raced through her body as his fingers kept circling.

She suddenly felt his lips over hers and moaned into his mouth, gripped his arm as he stroked her, a little faster now. She could barely keep her lips on his when he flicked two fingers upward. She threw her head back and gasped.

"Chloe," he whispered. "Is that it? Keep doing that?"

She opened her eyes, though only barely. "Yes... Keep... Clark..."

He did, flicking upwards, again, fingers almost directly touching her clit, but it didn’t hurt, not with how wet she was by now. 

"Oh, God!" Her eyes opened wide to find his watching her face. 

He flicked again and her body arched under him, he circled again, fingers moving in no sort of pattern or rhythm, but damned if this wasn’t doing it for her. 

Her eyes closed again and her hips shot upward.

"Chloe," he breathed, swirling his fingers around her, not stopping. 

Her moans turned to staccato gasps as the room around her seemed to shrink. Even her body seemed to disappear, as if there was nothing but the place he touched until… “Clark!” She hit the bed again heavily, panting.

“I did that.”

She grunted and opened her eyes to find him grinning. 

“I’m just saying. That wasn’t bad for a guy with limited previous... I mean, not to bring up Lana.” He slid a rather damp hand up her navel, then rested it, rather disconcertingly, on her belly. “But it was only a few times and I never could tell with her, if she was actually having a good time.” He leaned up on one elbow and nodded a little. “I’m just saying it’s nice you don’t have that problem.”

Why was he talking? Didn’t he realize she was half-dead right now?

He rubbed light circles on her belly. “You know, I thought it would be strange, with the… situation. Like I’d feel weird. But I really didn’t. Maybe we should talk to Emil, though, about what’s good for the baby or not before we keep going.” He frowned. “The books say it’s not exactly taboo to keep a regular sex life. Not that either of us had a regular sex life before now. But, you know, if we start...”

Shouldn’t there be some kind of rule against talking in situations like this? If the tables were turned… Then again, they hadn’t been. In fact, he was still wearing all his clothes. She really wanted to do something about that if she could just move.

“Clark,” she cut in, forcing herself to sit up. “Let’s maybe not go into all that now. I mean, this only just happened.”

“Well, yeah. Obviously. I’m not saying we need to plan out the future. But just planning the planning of it might…”

“This seriously just happened for me,” she said, trying to drive it home. “But not for you. And I think that’s kind of unfair.” And maybe stopping his train of thought would be kind of a bonus. She pushed at his shoulder. When he didn’t budge, she pushed harder and he fell to the bed, looking rather surprised. “I just think we should think about you.” Also about getting his shirt off. It was a damned shame that chests were bare and none of them his. She started on his top button.

He lightly pushed her hands away. “Uh… I really think we should talk to Emil before…”

“I’m not even talking about home runs, here. I think it’s only fair if the both of us get a little third base action.” She grinned and started on his buttons. “I actually haven’t even gotten to second with you.”

He laughed, but pushed her hands away again. “Well, yeah. But no pressure. I mean, we can just leave it for now and…”

She went for his buttons again, but her hand slipped into his pocket and his shirt ripped right down one side. She stilled. “Damn it. I’m so sorry.”

“Chloe, it’s fine.” 

“This thing must be kind of flimsy, not that your mother doesn’t have good taste…” She sighed and tried to stupidly to hold the scraps back up. “Maybe it ripped clean and it can be fixed somehow.”

“Really. Don’t worry about it. My mom’s always giving me shirts. Besides, I have to change for patrol and…” He started to move away, but she put a hand on his shoulder. He stilled, wincing.

“What’s wrong?” She frowned and pulled at more of his shirt. “Are you hurt?”

“I’m not really…”

She bared his shoulder and arm. “You are hurt.” There were tiny, little half-moon marks on his upper arm. The skin wasn’t broken, but they were there and purple at the edges. It was a shame she was this close to all that bare skin and she couldn’t even enjoy it. “How?”

“It’s nothing. It’ll be gone by morning.”

“Well, when did this happen?” She ran her fingers over the marks, “Were you exposed to green…” She stopped, noticing how her fingers, her nails fit over those marks. She moved away, breathing heavily.

“Chloe, don’t…”

She moved off the bed, backing away. “I did this.”

“I was afraid of this,” he muttered, standing as well. “Chloe, this isn’t a big deal.”

“How can you say that? I hurt you!”

“But you didn’t mean to,” he said, his voice almost unnervingly calm. “You were having a nightmare. You were scared. I think this is just something that happens when…”

“Something that happens?” She stared at him in horror. “This happened before?”

“Just once,” he said quickly. “I didn’t want to tell you. I didn’t want to tell anyone. And it barely even hurt. It was just a little push.”

“The alley,” she gasped, her vision blurring. “You said you backed into the wall, but I… I was the one who…”

“But it wasn’t you. I was just… It was a reflex or…”

“I don’t care what it was! I hurt you!”

“Chloe, calm down. Your eyes..."

She turned her head, caught sight of herself in the mirror. She could barely see her eyes, not with the red swallowing them up. She grappled for the doorknob behind her, shaking. “You need to stay away from me.”

Clark was moving closer. “That's never going to happen.”

“Don’t…”

His arms were around her before she could open the door and she squeezed her eyes shut, wishing he’d go away, wishing he’d never let her go, wishing all of this was some nightmare and she’d wake up in her old room, her dad singing horribly on a Sunday morning as he cooked an even worse breakfast. Back then, she couldn’t wait to grow up. She really wished she hadn’t been in such a hurry if this is what it was like – afraid of herself, afraid of the future. 

She let out several whimpers as her eyes spilled over.

“You’re okay, Chloe.”

She wasn’t sure she was or if she’d ever be again. Yet she felt calmer now. Somehow, they’d ended up on the bed again, Clark holding her in his lap, stroking her back, whispering into her hair.

“You were just afraid. I know you didn’t mean to hurt me. It barely even hurt, I swear.”

She wanted to think that. But Clark seemed to make it his personal duty to protect her lately. Maybe that included protecting her from what he really thought. She drew back, wiping her eyes. “How many times, Clark?” she croaked.

He stared at her for a long time before taking a rather long breath. “Just twice. I mean, there have been these moments when you seem a little stronger than usual, but you never hurt me.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I had a feeling it only happened when you felt scared, cornered even. I don’t like the idea of upsetting you when…” He trailed off, a hand going to her belly. “I think it’s just the pregnancy affecting you.”

“Well, what does that say about this pregnancy?” she asked, horrified, her eyes filling again.

“That it’s complicated. Think about this…” He lifted one hand to wipe at her eyes. “When you healed me, you were already pregnant.”

“I only healed you because the hormones…”

“Yeah. That’s what Emil thinks. But maybe it’s just that your healing power or you in general are… just stronger than that.” He smiled slightly.

“Or maybe we should just play it safe,” she said dully, moving off his lap. “I think we need some time apart.”

He shook his head. “That’s not gonna happen.”

“Stop saying that. You don’t have a choice in this. I’m telling you this is what I need.”

“No. You’re telling me what you think I need.”

She moved into the living room. “Well, this is my apartment and if I tell you…”

“I’m not afraid of you.”

“That makes one of us.” She pulled open the door.

“And I’m not staying away.” He shut it. “You want to know what actually hurts? You doing this. Over and over, you push me away and I keep taking it because I… Damn it, Chloe, I…”

Her eyes widened. “Don’t!”

“No. I’m going to say it. I… maybe… sort of… possibly… love you,” he finished, breathing heavily.

She stared at him, bewildered. At least he didn’t actually say it. “Well, that was…”

She didn’t get to say what that was. She still wasn’t sure what that was. 

Clark’s phone picked that moment to beep loudly and shrilly. “It’s Victor,” he sighed, pulling it out of his pocket and pressing a button on the side. “I have to check in.”

“Yes. Fine. Go do that.” She opened the door again.

“That doesn’t mean we’re done talking about this,” he said frowning and stopping as he started through the door. “I’m not staying away, Chloe.”

“Obviously not, if you won’t leave,” she said, staring above his head.

He groaned and pulled her in, meeting her lips, tilting his head and pressing inward until she found herself relaxing against him. 

She’d only just opened her mouth when his was gone. 

“This isn’t over,” he said before disappearing.

**********************

“…also known as Black Canary.”

“Is this the last one?” Tess groaned. They’d moved from scotch to coffee, ordered in from a bakery, and she was still about to drop off. 

“Almost. Besides an affinity for knives, she has metahuman abilities as well, mostly manifesting in a sonic…”

“Oh, my God,” Tess groaned. “Why do I have to know about every tight-wearer that ever traipsed through Metropolis. I don’t even know most of these people.”

Lex clicked off the screen. “Are you seriously complaining about too much information after all your whining?”

She stood and cracked her neck. “Well, what purpose does this serve? Am I supposed to be scandalized about a bunch of hero types chasing down purse snatchers? I'm actually fine with what they do. Are you so petty that you're going to mess with that because you don't personally like them? For crying out...”

“This isn't about that. They can play cops and robbers all they want. But we need to make sure they can't step out of line, playing with things they shouldn't.” He put the remote down. “And I'm not saying another word unless you promise you're with me on this.”

She crossed her arms. “What does this mean? I’m ready?”

Lex shrugged. “I don't know if anyone's ever ready to know what I know.”

Tess rolled her eyes. “Stop being so dramatic and tell me.”

“I've been keeping you ignorant in case things are discovered.”

"So you said. Plausible deniability.”

“Well, it's true. It's more for you than me. If some of my activities were discovered publicly, it might reflect badly on the business.” He moved to the sideboard to pour himself more coffee. “Forget ethics. Most of this world is about the bottom line. You are the public face of the business and secret projects are more known for leeching money than generating it. If all this goes south, I'd like to think Luthorcorp could stay out of it. I've been trying to keep things separate except for using some resources. That's for you. All for you.” He downed his coffee almost in a single gulp. “Damn it, Tess. I'm trying to make up for it, make sure you have what you deserve.”

She raised an eyebrow. “I’m still hearing a lot of dramatics and very little…”

“Then shut up and let me finish. Luthors take care of their own… or they should. It’s not exactly in the family crest, but it should be our focus from now on. We’re all we’ve got.”

She nodded. “Then why are you still holding out?”

“I'm not holding out. I’m trying to tell you. This is all bigger, like I said.” 

“I am sufficiently cowed and impressed. Now…”

“I’m working with the government.”

She shut her mouth, then opened it several times. “So is that what this is about. You're the government watchdog over some hero cabal?”

“I keep telling you. This isn't about them. Not exactly.”

“So why were you showing me all this. Does the government know about them?”

“They know of them, but not from us? Queen has managed to fly under the radar even with his limited intelligence.”

“Us?”

“Never mind that,” Lex said quickly. “I'm keeping things separate as much as I can. The point is that this band of idiots shouldn't be left to their own devices.”

“So is that what the press and the studies on metahumans were all about?”

“You need to instill a little healthy fear,” he said, picking through the tray of danish. “You can't afford to let the public blindly worship this type just because they do some good. I'm attempting to maintain a balance,” he said as he chewed, “sowing just enough doubt so people won’t be upset it they step out of line and have to be put away.”

“If they deal with these mysterious things they shouldn't play with,” Tess said, slowly, wondering if she was finally following this.

“Exactly.”

“So, if they have some mysterious thing…”

“We put it in the proper hands.”

“Meaning yours?”

Lex shrugged. “I have teams of scientists working for me and high-up alliances, they have supposed good intentions. I think it’s clear who should be in control.” He poured some more coffee. “The plan had been to counteract the hero set with the media, make sure the public stayed suspicious, keep the government on the line so they could step in if need be, but things changed.”

Tess stared closely at him. “I remember. They changed very suddenly when you woke me at the crack of dawn and told me to hire Chloe Sullivan. This is about the baby,” she finished dully.

Lex nodded. “I knew it was there. But I didn’t know for sure until she woke that it’s not, as you put it, the spawn of Henry James Olsen. The plans had changed. Suddenly, a few heroes running around seemed such a petty thing to interfere with.”

“You’re going to take Chloe's baby,” Tess whispered.

“That's just one more thing they're not equipped to deal with. They got lucky with that monster. If it had woke just one more time before they shot it into space…”

“They shot it into space?” God, maybe this was all too much for her. She felt woozy.

“Yes. Queen had contacts in Russia. He used them to bypass using his own government’s space program, something they’re still ticked off about.” Lex chuckled. “They’d have him in a cell in five minutes if they knew all I do.”

Tess leaned heavily on the desk. “How exactly do you know all this?”

“Never mind that,” Lex said quickly. “The point is that I’m not letting the government in on everything. I’m working with them on one thing only.”

“Chloe’s baby,” Tess droned.

“I secure it and I get to spearhead all work related to it. The government is only too happy not to foot the bill.” He moved to her. “And Luthorcorp is turning more profit these days. Good job, you.” He lightly chucked her on the chin.

Tess pulled away, sneering. “This is insanity. Why don't you just take Clark if they’re after him?”

He scoffed. “Clark?”

“Won’t that be fun for you? You can put him in a kryptonite cage and poke him like a lab rat all you want!”

“Now who’s being dramatic?” He rolled his eyes. “This is not about Clark.”

“But you’re taking his…”

“The baby, if you want to call it that, is not Clark’s”

“Of course it is.” Tess shook her head. “I see them every day and…”

“And I have better information.”

“But there's something between them. The way he acts…”

“Yes,” Lex cut in. “There's always been a little something between them and maybe they're doing something about it now. I could care less. But they weren’t then. Look at the timeline, Tess. When this thing was conceived, Chloe was spending an awful lot of time in motels with Davis Bloome. And this was before he was separated from the beast.”

"Separated?" Tess shook her head, dazed again. “How did that happen?”

“They got hold of another thing they shouldn’t mess with. It’s just as well they sent the beast away. There was no way to subdue it or use it. Davis Bloome is alive and well and that’s all you need to know. His makeup is still unique, but not in any useful way.”

“Useful?”

“I don’t even know for sure if this thing she’s carrying will be useful. But she can't keep it. That's the bottom line. Now, that’s enough for tonight. Get some sleep.” 

“How the hell am I supposed to do that?” she scoffed miserably.

Lex took a deep breath and moved to her. “Tess, just trust me on this. My project is the only thing standing between that thing and the world. We’ll neutralize it and make use of it. The world will be safer. Chloe will be safer. Even Clark will be safer.”

“How exactly do you intend to make use of it?”

“We’ll see.” He smiled. “Stop looking so horrified. It's barely even human.”

****************************

She could barely sleep. Every time she started, that dream started in on her and she didn't want it, not now that it was becoming clearer. Maybe she wasn’t running from Clark for her own sake, but for his. Maybe, deep in her, she knew she could hurt him even before now. And, just like in that dream, he wouldn’t let her go.

Hell, she didn’t him to let her go. As crazy as these months had been, there’d also been a certain safety. Between Clark and the gang, she’d felt so protected. But maybe she wasn’t the one who actually needed protection.

She sat up with a grunt. She didn’t have work today, anyway. There was no point tucking herself back in and vainly trying to sleep for just a few more hours.

She moved into the living room and turned on the light. She was just in the middle of making tea when her phone rang. At three am?

“Bart,” she sighed, picking up. 

"I saw your light on."

“It's still a little late to call.”

“Or is it early?”

“Fine. Both. What?”

“Moody. Maybe I’m calling about something important.”

“Are you?”

“I dunno,” he grunted. “Nobody’s here and I’m just so boooored.”

“Aren’t you running Watchtower?”

“Try and tell me that’s not boring. Everyone’s just roaming the streets with nothing on the radios. Even when there’s stuff to do, it’s really boring stuff. Can you come over? Look! I’m beckoning you!”

She moved to the window and chuckled at him making exaggerated gestures waving her over. “Sorry. It’s freezing out and I’m not leaving.”

“Well, it’s not like I can come over there. Unless…”

“No, you can’t.”

“I’ve got a headset. I bet it would reach. If anyone called in, I could be back at the console in...”

“Bart, tons of people do boring stuff they don’t want to do all day. Deal with it. I’m hanging up.”

“Wait! I’ve been working on my bits. You need to see my escalator!”

Chloe sighed. “Can you do it without shouting in my ear?”

“Just you wait. Pull up a chair.” He hung up. 

Chloe dutifully pulled up a chair. It was something to watch, at least. She didn’t have anything more than basic cable and she doubted anything good was on now. Maybe Bart would put her to sleep.

It seemed like a safe bet when he started. These bits were never as funny as people wanted to think, more tedious. Her eyes wandered over Isis’ side, looking at that wall again. The one she’d, apparently, pushed Clark into. It had been repaired by now. She could barely see any difference except in the whiter mortar. Oliver had made a few changes. The roof had a higher wall for one thing. She could only see the side of it as it wrapped around the front, but the windows were now glazed and… lit. 

She glanced at Bart again, this time pretending to argue with an unseen person and pulling himself away by the shirt. Hilarious. But Bart was alone there. Maybe someone had just left a light on in… storage. 

She tried to keep her attention on Bart. But she could swear -- was almost positive -- she saw a shadow move in front of the light.

Her phone rang and she quickly picked up.

“Did you see? That fight one was new.”

“Yes. It was all very interesting,” she said, glancing at that lit window again.

The next morning, after a bare four hours of sleep, she waited in the control room for Victor.

“You want to pull watchtower duty?” he asked.

“I’ve done it before. I pretty much originated the position.” She shrugged. “Hell, in way, with the way everyone’s bossing me around these days, I’d kind of like to give some back.”

Victor chuckled. “Well, I’m not going to lie. I liked being out there again.”

She gestured to him. “Exactly. You can get the whole team out and not waste resources with one of you stuck on a computer. Also, I might just have some competence in this area.”

He seemed to consider it, then shook his head. “Chloe, you don’t want this added on. You’ve got work and…” He glanced down significantly.

“Yeah. This is too strenuous. Sitting in front of a computer, eating takeout.” She scoffed. “The biggest danger is carpal tunnel, for crying out loud! Or do you want Bart running things again?”

Victor frowned at the keyboard he was shaking out. “There’s corn chip crumbs everywhere,” he grunted. “Tell you what? I can let you sit in with me tonight. We have a new system and, if this works out, we can try you out in a week.”

She smiled. “You seriously think it’s going to take me that long to get it down?”

He grinned back. “I don’t know. Prove me wrong.”

“I will.”

That was done. Now for Emil. Clark may not have wanted to tell anyone about her little beast-outs, but she was sure as hell going to tell her own doctor if…

“Morning.”

She jumped slightly as the elevator doors opened on Clark. “What are you doing here?”

He suddenly looked very sheepish. “I looked into your place and you weren’t there. Saw you in here.”

“Why are you here so early?”

“I’m always up early. Have to feed the animals. Anyway, come here.” He pulled her off the elevator. “I need to show you something.”

“Can this wait? I asked Emil to meet me here for…”

“I figured you would, which is why you need to see this.” He pulled her to her old room. Despite her personal items being gone, it looked the same. She was about to remark on the hospital bed being moved to the medical bay when Clark started taking off his clothes.

“Clark!”

Maybe just his flannel, then his T-shirt. As much as it would be more maidenly of her to look away, she couldn’t bring herself to do it.

“Look.” He turned. 

She swallowed hard, staring at his back, all rippling and muscled and just a little tan, which was kind of unfair in winter.

“It’s gone.”

“Huh?” She noticed he was tapping his shoulder.

“Nothing there.” He turned around. “It took all of two minutes of sunlight and it’s like it never happened.”

She tore her eyes away from his chest and met his eyes. “Doesn’t change the fact that it did happen.”

“Chloe, don’t tell Emil.”

“He’s my doctor, Clark. He should know about this.”

Clark moved closer. “This happened between you and me. I don’t think anyone else should know. I don’t want them looking at you like… like…”

“A danger? Because I could be, Clark.”

“No.” He shook his head firmly. “Not you. Never. I told you before. You’re strong enough to control this. And I can help you. Chloe, I’ll be right here with you.”

She glanced away. “Because you maybe, sort of, possibly love me?”

“Well… yeah.”

“Clark, this is about more than you and me. This child is obviously coming with extra complications and, for God’s sake, will you put your shirt back on?”

He picked up his shirt, then stopped, smiling just a little. “Is this distracting you or something?”

She turned away. “Don’t get cute. This is serious.”

“It’s not like I don’t realize how serious this is, Chloe.” She felt him behind her, then a hand on her shoulder. “I have to keep reminding myself what we're dealing with. If I don’t… it's so hard not to touch you.”

"You are touching me,” she said thickly.

"I know. I want to touch you... more," he finished, his voice no more than breath against her neck.

"We're not thinking straight, neither of us. We can't..."

“Don’t you think dealing with complications is easier when you have someone right there with you? Chloe, I’ve spent so many years pushing people away because things were complicated!”

She paced away before turning back to him. “Well, you and Lana are both alive, so maybe we can call that a coping mechanism that works.”

“It doesn’t. It never did.” He jerked his shirt back on quickly. “It just left her confused and me miserable. I’m trying to figure out if it’s some kind of karmic justice that you’re doing the same thing to me,” he finished on a mutter.

“I’m not pushing you away. I’m… I’m taking a reasonable step back. We need a break from whatever this is.”

“I’ll tell you what this isn’t. This isn’t me and Lana,” he went on. “It’s different with you. It always was. We’re not supposed to hide things from each other. If last year taught us anything…”

“So you don’t hide things from me? Like the fact that I hurt you. The way you all carefully doled out what I could and couldn’t know from the moment I woke up. The way you still…” She stopped. She wasn’t ready to talk about the fourth floor. Not yet. Not until she had something concrete.

“Chloe, you woke up from three months in a coma and, right now, you’ve got enough to deal with,” he said evenly. “If there’s anything you actually need to know, trust me, you know it.”

“I can tell you really believe that,” she said softly. “Just like you believe you can handle me, like I believed I could handle Davis, but look what…”

He moved closer. “This isn’t the same thing. This isn’t a part you. It’s a… reflex. And I’m not afraid of it. I’m not afraid of anything about you.”

She shook her head and moved to the door. “I need to see Emil.”

“Are you going to tell him?”

“I haven’t decided yet.”

Except she had. She decided she would, then she wouldn’t, then changed her mind back and forth about a dozen times while Emil weighed and measured her like a prized pig.

“Everything seems to be progressing normally,” he droned. 

That was part of the problem, how very normal things seemed.

“We’re a little early for the seven-month check-up, but I can warm up the equipment if…”

“No. It’s fine. I don’t know why I called you down here. You’re probably jet-lagged or something. Oliver said you had relatives in…”

“Virginia. It’s not too far.” He gestured to a chair. “Is something worrying you?”

She sat, opened her mouth, then thought better of it. “Maybe I should talk to Sarah about it.”

“Well, you can talk to me if you want.” He smiled and sat down himself. “I did the odd psych course.”

Well, it’s my bouts of super strength, see. I’m apparently beating up my “maybe, sort of, possibly” boyfriend without meaning to. Of course, she really couldn't call a few scratches beating up. But the wall...

She shook her head. “I think you take on enough. Oliver told me you volunteer your time. I don’t want to…”

“Why don’t you let me worry about what’s enough?” he prodded gently.

She sighed. She couldn’t do it. She couldn’t stand for that pleasant smile of his to turn to fear. Still, she dragged him all the way down here. She had to tell him something. “I was just wondering,” she began rather awkwardly, “about whether… sex is a… safe thing to do, considering where I’m at and… all that.”

“Well…” Emil looked away. “Uh… Yes. Considering your pregnancy is proceeding normally, no bleeding or… You can have sex as often as you like as long as the position involved feels… comfortable to you.”

“I’m not saying it’s even going to happen,” she said quickly. “I mean, I was only curious.” She stood and moved to the table to start gathering the stuff she’d taken out of her pockets before he weighed her.

Emil chuckled. “Well, I can email you some good sites to look over if your curiosity needs more to...”

“No need.” She stuffed in her cell phone and a few receipts and her pen. “I could look them up if… not that I really need to. It… This isn’t mine.” She held the pen it out. “Sorry. Tried to steal your lucky pen.”

Emil took it back and quickly put it in his pocket. “Lucky pen?”

Chloe shrugged, glad to talk about something that wasn’t pregnant sex for a moment. She wasn’t sure what color her face was. “You seem to play with it a lot, but you never write with it.”

Emil gave a laugh. “It doesn’t actually write. Just a little something I keep on me.”

Chloe rolled her eyes. “I used to have a lucky red shirt. Wore it to pieces. Then I almost died in it a bunch of times, so…” She straightened. “Thanks for coming down.”

“Any time. If you ever have questions or just need to talk, you can call me.” He smiled. “I know Sarah has that that comforting, therapeutic vibe, but…”

“You’re not so bad, yourself,” Chloe sad, patting his shoulder before she moved out. 

It was true. She did feel oddly comforted, even if she didn’t talk about the one thing most on her mind. Well, that wasn’t true. She had one more thing very much on her mind. And she’d be re-training for Watchtower this week. Between that and work, she had enough to deal with. She’d try not to think about Clark.

Easier said than done as they still had to work together.

*********************

They were back to work. Tess almost wished they weren’t. As much as Sullivan and Kent had consumed her thoughts, she didn’t want to think about them now. It was better when they were just a thorn in her side. Now they were pawns in some game that she wasn’t even sure she was playing.

Lex told her to just go on as if everything was normal. How could she? Even when Chloe put in her request for maternity leave, Tess could only stare at the form wondering if she would even come back. But Lex kept saying it was just the child – not even the child. It wasn’t a child. She had to keep reminding herself of that. 

He said they’d both end up safer. He said not to worry about how. He had it all worked out. All she had to do was act as if nothing had changed.

She stiffened as she noticed Chloe moving toward her office. She found herself adjusting her desk, trying to decide how to sit. Suddenly, everything seemed awkward. Karen waved her in and Tess took several deep breaths. She could do this.

Her door opened and Chloe moved in, looking awfully pregnant these days since she’d stopped with the bulky sweaters and coats. Chloe wasn’t even looking at her, but at some papers in her hand. “I’m looking at the press conference and I think you’re making a mistake sending Lawrence.”

“What?”

“He’s coming off the Inquisitor. He’s not ready for City Hall. I guarantee you he’ll ask one pointless question and get himself cut off. Like the last time you sent him out.” She slapped some papers on her desk. “I, on the other hand, will be rushed to the front.” She patted her stomach.

Tess drew back. “Are you suggesting I use your pregnancy for special treatment?”

Chloe shrugged. “It can help. How do you think I got most of the info on you?” She moved just a little closer. “I see you’ve finally taken it in.”

“Meaning?”

“Well, you were gone so long, we started to think you weren’t taking it well. It’s not like it really changes anything. You were doing fine before.”

Tess raised an eyebrow. “Is this a pep talk? From you?”

Chloe rolled her eyes. “I’m just saying you seem to know what you’re doing around here, definitely more than Lex did. Even knowing his reasons for putting you in this position, it doesn’t mean you aren’t… a fit. If you stop monitoring and interfering with us, we can work together well, help each other.”

Tess let out a hoarse laugh. “I feel suddenly moved to sing Kumbaya.”

Chloe sighed. “Fine. Be flippant all you want. But I noticed you stopped with the ‘dangerous metahuman’ dreck. This paper could be great again if you stop with the hidden agendas.”

“Good. You’ve told me.”

“I’m trying to pay you a compliment,” Chloe said evenly. “You don’t make it easy.”

“Or are you buttering me up to get your story?”

Chloe threw up her hands. “Do what you want. Sorry I bothered you.” 

Tess frowned at the door after Sullivan shut it. Maybe she was trying to be nice. It wasn’t exactly welcome, especially not now. 

*********************

“Could you just stop?” As much as Chloe resolved not to think about Clark and their nebulous status, he was making it annoyingly hard to forget… also to eat.

“I only said you look nice.”

“You said it to my boobs.”

He glanced down again. “And I meant every word.”

“I’m trying to talk about something real here. Tess has been avoiding us.” Which should be fine by Chloe. There were no bugs. Victor even ran a remote scan and there was no spyware. Considering this was exactly what she wanted, she didn’t understand why she felt so ill at ease. “I kept thinking, after I talked to her Monday, things would get better, but it’s like she only talks to us through Karen now.”

“Well, it really hasn’t been that long since we told her about her past.”

“She just seems so weird.” Chloe pushed her soup away. “Maybe we broke her mind.”

“I think Tess is made of stronger stuff than that. Maybe give her more time to get used to the info. At least she’s back at work. And she gave you that press conference.”

“I don’t know. I just feel uneasy. Maybe it’s indigestion.”

“Are you done?” Clark signaled for the check.

“I’m paying.”

“No, you’re not.”

“You got it yesterday.”

“And I’m getting it today.”

“This isn’t a date, Clark.”

“So you keep saying.”

“I thought we agreed to step back.”

“No. You said you were stepping back.” He grinned. “Doesn’t mean I am.”

“You know, if we were dating, we’d be going dutch. This isn’t the olden days when the man treated because the woman had no source of income.”

“Well, I’m wooing you, so I have to keep luring you to me with free lunches. We can go dutch when you admit you’re crazy about me.”

“Do you mean I have to say I maybe, sort of, possibly love you? Is that what it takes for us to be on even ground?”

He chuckled and stared at her warmly. “I’d say it outright, but you’re having so much fun tossing that at me.”

She tore her eyes away from his. He’d been flirting obnoxiously all week. She almost missed mopey Clark. At least she knew how to handle him. 

Of course, she couldn’t be too annoyed. Tonight, she’d have Watchtower all to herself. 

***************

She would have Watchtower to herself if everyone would just leave. In the past, she’d worked with everyone remotely. But having a headquarters and having so many in town made it extra chaotic – even more so with Victor leaving her to check everyone in on her own.

“I can’t get this headset working,” Bart whined. “I can’t hear anything.”

“That’s because it’s Clark’s,” Chloe said tiredly, pulling it off him. “It’s set low so he doesn’t have us screaming in his ear when he uses his hearing.” She dug through the mess of cords charging the headsets. “This one’s yours.”

“Don’t I get one?” Dinah wanted to know.

She tuned to Dinah. “I thought you had your own.”

“Yeah, but it’s in Star City.”

Chloe turned back to Bart. “Can you just run there and get…”

“No, he can’t. It’s in my bedroom,” Dinah cut in.

Bart raised a hand. “I’ll get it right now.”

Oliver flicked him in the head as he moved in. “We’re fine. Victor still has a few from the old set up.”

“That’s on a different frequency,” Chloe groaned. 

Victor shooed her out of the way. “Don’t worry. I’ll adjust them before I go.”

She stared at him miserably. “Are you sure you have to go?”

“I’m not sure I’ll be able to go,” he said, pulling out some old headsets from a drawer with scattered cords and two-way radios. “Can’t find my damned keys.”

She took a deep breath, reminding herself why she wanted to be alone. “I don’t think you need them out in Metropolis. You’ll be fine. Are you sure those have a charge?” she said, quickly changing the subject.

“I keep everything in here charged just in case we have system failure and have to go super old-school. You’ll have to be on top of that tonight, too.”

“Don’t even want to look at the electric bill,” Oliver grumbled.

“Probably doesn’t cost as much as your hair gel,” Bart snorted.

“Would everyone gear up and shut up?” Chloe shouted. “It’s like I’m a mom trying to get the damned kids ready for school.”

“Is this one of those mood swings?” Bart hissed to Oliver.

“Bart, I will send you to the suburbs all night, I swear,” Chloe growled. “Now let me concentrate.” She turned to her screens. “It’s New Year’s Eve and half the nation will be drunk, so I need you all on task. John’s on duty, but he’s there for an assist,” she muttered. And it was a good thing he wasn’t there in person. She was afraid she’d have to start singing “Mary Had A Little Lamb” in her head on top of everything else or he’d know…

“Victor, I’m keeping you local, too, but I want you uptown.” she went on. “There’s been an upswing in car theft.” It was also far enough away that it would take a good long time for him to get back. “Bart’s covering Keystone City and Philadelphia. Dinah, Clark’s dropping you in Florida. Oliver’s taking the jet to Denver. I found a clear place to touch down” Chloe shook her head. “I really wish we could cover more ground. We need more people with speed.”

“Or faster jets,” Oliver added. "One of these days..."

“Don’t worry about it,” Victor said calmly. “Clark or Bart can go anywhere if you pick up something farther away, as you’ve seen.”

“Except I’ll get there faster,” Bart put in.

“Well, Clark’s not even here, so…”

“Yes, I am.”

She whirled to find Clark behind her. 

“Sorry. Couldn’t find my red jacket.”

“We should be so lucky,” Chloe muttered.

He reached past her to pick up his headset… and lingered. 

“Stop it,” she whispered. 

“I wasn’t even touching you,” he hissed back. 

She ignored him and turned to the others, noting the rather smug look on Dinah’s face. “I want you all at your bases in ten.” She turned to Oliver. “I’ll give you an hour.”

Oliver scoffed. “Try a half,” he said moving out.

“Fine.” She clapped her hands. “Everyone out so I can order some food.”

“You’re getting dim sum, aren’t you?” Bart asked petulantly.

She nodded. “From the good place. I can’t promise leftovers.”

“You’re a mean mom,” he said before disappearing.

Dinah moved toward her as she adjusted her headset. “We’re talking later.”

“No, we aren’t.”

“Fine. I’ll talk to Clark on the run to Florida.”

“Dinah…”

“Ready, Clark?” Dinah said pointedly as she backed to the door.

“Yeah, yeah.” He tapped his headset and looked to Chloe. “You hear me okay?”

“Like you’re still in the room,” she said with a withering glance, tapping her own. “Tell Dinah nothing,” she whispered into her mouthpiece. 

Clark looked confused, but he nodded before moving off behind her.

Victor was still there, frowning and staring around him. “I still can’t find my keys.”

“Do you need them when you’re not here?”

“No.”

“Then, there you go,” she said, shooing him out. “I’ll let you know if I find them.” She wasn’t sure where she’d “find” them just yet, but somewhere.

She sighed when she finally closed the door, then glanced at her purse. Not yet. There was still work to do. She could wait.

She’d learned a few things this past year. Patience and stealth, to name a few. She was as stealthy with Tess as she should have been with Lex. She felt almost guilty, using stealth with her friends. But, damn them, they were hiding things. Everyone looked at her as if she was going to break into a million pieces, Clark especially, most times. If she wanted to know something, she'd damned well have to find it herself.

By the time things settled down, just after two in the morning as they tended to do, she was ready. She was exhausted, but she was ready. 

She supposed the rest of them were more exhausted, after countless purse-snatchings, car-jackings, drunken brawls, and even drunker attempts to drive. She’d told them all to stay at their bases and take a break. She’d like to think she’d earned one, too. She had a small part in all this, after all.

She took a deep breath as she put the feed on loop. If anyone looked it over, it would seem she was typing for the next twenty minutes and the rest of the place would be in the dark. Twenty minutes should be enough.

She checked the monitors and saw herself just typing away as she pulled the keys from deep in her purse and pushed away from the console. She told herself she wasn’t really doing anything wrong as she approached the elevator. If no one would tell her, she had no choice but to snoop. And she’d start with the fourth floor. Still, she felt like Bluebeard’s wife as she turned that key in the elevator’s slot. What horrible thing would she find? 

For one awful moment, when the four lit up above the door, she feared she’d find the worst possible thing. What if the beast wasn’t shot into space? What if they found a way to contain it here? What if that door opened and she had to be forced to look into its red eyes?

She nearly pushed the stop when the door opened on a length of glass. It was dark beyond it, but she could see a hinged slot, tiny holes above it, like in a county office. She put a hand out to stop the doors closing and a loud ding cut the silence. 

Then there was suddenly light beyond the glass, the figure of a man rubbing his eyes. 

She shook her head as she stared at him. “Davis?”

CHAPTER TWENTY

So a lot of you probably knew he was up there. 

Honestly, I thought of having her find him much earlier in the fic, but then I realized I really wanted certain things to progress without the complication of him before she found him. 

More coming soon.